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Procrastination and Mental Health: Finding Support

Procrastination and Mental Health: Finding Support

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:31:29+00:00May 21st, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

At some time or another, anyone can struggle to push themselves through an unwanted or difficult assignment or task. However, people with mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD, are far more likely to struggle with procrastination than someone without these issues. Research has shown that procrastination is both a cause and a result of stress, particularly for those with a mental health diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety, or depression. Procrastination and ADHD Procrastination and ADHD are often linked together. People with ADHD are more likely to procrastinate than those without ADHD. There are a few reasons for this. Distractibility People with ADHD are easily distracted, making it difficult to stay focused on a task. This can lead to procrastination, as people with ADHD may find it hard to get started on a task or to stay on track once they start. Impulsivity People with ADHD are often impulsive, which can lead to them making decisions without thinking about the consequences. This can also lead to procrastination, as people with ADHD may be more likely to put off tasks until the last minute. Low frustration tolerance People with ADHD often have low frustration tolerance, which can make it difficult to stick with a task that is challenging or boring. This can also lead to procrastination, as people with ADHD may be more likely to give up on a task before they finish it. If someone has ADHD, there are some skills they can build to overcome procrastination. For example, breaking down tasks into smaller steps can make tasks seem less daunting and more manageable. Likewise, setting deadlines can help a person to stay on track and avoid procrastination. Other tips include finding a quiet place to work helps focus and avoids distractions and taking breaks to stay refreshed [...]

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How to Have and Handle Healthy Expectations in A Relationship

How to Have and Handle Healthy Expectations in A Relationship

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:33:25+00:00April 12th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Building a healthy relationship takes time, care, and a lot of effort. One area where couples often struggle is in managing their expectations. Your expectations are about what kind of behavior or attitudes you desire to see come to pass in the future. Depending on the kinds of expectations you have, you can either nurture your relationship or put it under strain. Should you have expectations in a relationship? Depending on one’s experiences, some believe that you shouldn’t expect anything from a romantic partner in a relationship. There are several reasons for this, some of which are helpful, but others aren’t so much. One unhelpful reason to avoid expectations is to avoid being let down. Past experiences may lead to the conclusion that having expectations simply means leaving yourself vulnerable to disappointment. A potentially helpful reason to avoid expectations is that they can end up putting your partner under pressure and undermining the health of the relationship. Of course, one could say that sometimes people have unreasonable expectations, and those can cause serious problems in a relationship. We all have expectations - the question is whether your expectations are reasonable or not. Fear of disappointment shouldn’t lead you to ditch expectations altogether, especially if your expectations touch the needs you have. If your needs aren’t being met in the relationship, something isn’t right and should be addressed. Reasonable expectations, far from hindering a relationship, can help it thrive and help keep you both accountable. Clear and reasonable expectations help to support and nurture healthy relationships. No relationship is perfect, but if you aim for a relationship that’s “good enough,” one that keeps a good balance between reasonable and high expectations while being aware of unreasonable expectations, you can form a healthy and well-rounded partnership. Healthy expectations function to ensure [...]

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Using Christian Meditation to Reduce Stress

Using Christian Meditation to Reduce Stress

Kate Motaung2024-12-19T10:31:13+00:00March 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Life is full of stressors. From work pressures to family challenges, personal anxieties, and life changes, the list of things that cause stress can feel endless. While we often hear suggestions for managing these stressors, it can be hard to put them into place. Often, these things feel like one more thing to add to an overwhelming list. Instead of focusing on a big list of things to change, you can start with one thing. Simply start small. You don’t need to make sweeping changes all at once. Those often don’t work because they are too difficult to maintain. Instead, you can choose one thing and implement it slowly. The results may not be immediate, but they are more likely to last. Meditation is a great skill to begin introducing into your life to manage and reduce the effects of stress. Meditation is a way to “be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10). What is meditation? There are a lot of misconceptions about meditation. Upon hearing the word meditation, people have preconceived notions about what it is without having any personal experience or education about it. The simplest concept of meditation is a settling of the mind. While meditation can involve deeper ideas like awareness, mindfulness, training, perspective, and clarity, all these ideas go back to the root concept of intentionally settling one’s mind. Does meditation align with Christian beliefs? Meditation is used in many cultures and religions. This has sometimes caused people to be concerned about Christians using meditation. When people consider how a different culture or faith tradition uses meditation, it may not align with Christian beliefs. However, when we take the definition of meditation described above and use it in a context that applies to being a Christ-follower, we discover that it supports [...]

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Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:47:24+00:00March 8th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Everyone feels insecure now and again. It could happen before a big event or a presentation at work, starting a new job, or entering a room full of strangers. We can feel insecure after we make a mistake. We might not feel assured in raising our children, interacting with our partners, or in our vocation. For some of us, feeling insecure is how we feel most of the time. Insecure feelings may permeate much of our daily activities and relationships. At times, we might even feel like we never fit into any situation or like we have “imposter” stamped on our foreheads. We see how everyone else does things better, faster, and smarter. We never believe that what we do, or who we are, is enough. We spend our days rebuking our decisions, questioning if we have done enough, and feeling like the least qualified person in every room. We might feel afraid to put ourselves out there in relationships because the amount of insecurity we experience inhibits us from taking risks or being vulnerable. Feeling insecure and anxious Insecurity is something we can feel in big or small ways. It can be related to how we see ourselves, how we experience our relationships, and how we show up in the working or productive parts of our lives. It can force us to pull back from relationships, say no to opportunities we would love to accept, and live in regret. Feeling insecure makes us retreat further into ourselves, where we often don’t like what we find there either. Constantly feeling insecure can lead to anxiety. We scan the horizon, cultivate the worst case in our heads, and wait for the other shoe to drop. When we feel insecure about who we are and our choices, we often feel anxious [...]

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The Impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect On Adult Relationships

The Impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect On Adult Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:47:42+00:00February 27th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you’re a child, you’re at your most vulnerable. You depend on the people around you to meet your needs, including your need for food, shelter, attention, and nurture. Children cannot provide for these themselves. Having caregivers who are attentive to your needs and capable of meeting them is essential. Whether or not we flourish in life greatly depends on how much and how well our needs were met or whether we've suffered emotional neglect. Unfortunately, one of the harsh realities of living in a broken world is that one’s needs aren’t always met for various reasons. Many parents are well-intentioned but without the means or the knowledge for how to best meet children’s needs, they can go unmet. Even more harmful is when one sees a need and deliberately decides not to meet it. In either case, whether intentionally or not, childhood emotional neglect is a reality many children face. What is childhood emotional neglect? Childhood emotional neglect is when a parent or caregiver doesn’t respond adequately to a child’s emotional needs. Emotional neglect can be intentional, but it may also be the result of a parent overlooking this one area of a child’s needs. For instance, a parent or caregiver may fulfill a child’s need for food, shelter, education, and medical treatment, but fail to pay attention to the child’s expressed concerns. Mishandling this one area of a child’s needs is neglectful, even though it may be entirely unintentional. It may be helpful to provide an example of childhood emotional neglect. A child may express the fact that they are sad or anxious about going to school, and the parent responds by brushing them off or ignoring the concerns the child expressed. A parent may be thinking that the child isn’t serious, or the situation isn’t serious [...]

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Postpartum Depression: What It Is and How to Treat It

Postpartum Depression: What It Is and How to Treat It

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:47:53+00:00February 22nd, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a disorder that women develop after giving birth. The symptoms can include feeling sad, anxious, and exhausted, making it difficult for the mother to take care of herself and her child. PPD can emerge right after birth but commonly emerges one to three weeks after delivery. Often, women who experience PPD have never experienced another form of depression. A lack of understanding and experience with PPD can be a barrier to seeking help. Because of this, many new moms feel that these symptoms are their fault, or they are weak or inadequate moms. This is not true. While various factors influence the prevalence of post-partum depression, on average, 10-15% of women develop PPD. It is important for the mother, child, and the existing family that PPD be diagnosed and addressed. Caring for a newborn is difficult enough, and the symptoms of PPD cause the mother to struggle mentally and emotionally. This makes it difficult for her to care for herself and her child(ren). When a mother struggles this way, it affects the bonding process between mother and infant. Less-than-ideal bonding can then affect the overall development of the infant. Women often struggle with feelings of guilt and shame when struggling with post-partum depression due to an inability to be the mom they want to be. All of this can also impact the family unit. Women who suspect they might have post-partum depression should seek medical attention. Many women need medication to help them with the symptoms of PPD. Antidepressants can help alleviate the symptoms of depression. For people in faith communities, taking medication for depression can be “controversial.” It is essential to realize that treating mental health issues with medication is not much different than treating physical ailments with medication. It might be necessary to [...]

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Anger in the Bible: Help and Healing for Anger Issues

Anger in the Bible: Help and Healing for Anger Issues

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:33:50+00:00February 6th, 2024|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If we ask the question, “What does the Bible say about anger?” we might first be thinking about anger as a negative thing, and in many cases, it is. It doesn’t take much to think of an example of sinful anger. But it might be helpful to think of anger as simply one of a range of human emotions. It can be healthy or unhealthy, righteous or sinful, but it can also be redeemed and used by God for good. Human emotions are no stranger to God. He created our capacity to experience them, and Jesus experienced emotions when he walked the earth, including grief (John 11:35), joy (John 15:11), and anger (John 2:15-16). As he was perfect in every way, we can be confident that emotions, including anger, are part of being human and are not automatically wrong. Emotions themselves are neutral. Our thoughts and actions, how we respond to those emotions, determine whether we will act out our feelings in a godly or ungodly manner. We’ve all witnessed the destructive force of sinful anger, whether in our own lives or that of others. To take it a step further, we can all acknowledge that sinful anger is one of the greatest forces of destruction in the world. Along with power, it’s a deadly and evil thing that can be used to harm, abuse, and destroy people, relationships, and even entire countries. But anger starts in the same place every other human emotion springs from; the heart. So, to get to the root of destructive anger, we must start with the heart. Addressing anger issues, whether in a child or an adult, as soon as possible can allow us to get to the root quickly and begin to find another path that doesn’t cause destruction. If you’re interested in [...]

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Sneaky Self-Destructive Habits to Eliminate from Your Life

Sneaky Self-Destructive Habits to Eliminate from Your Life

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:31:39+00:00January 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

We all have things we do in our life that don’t serve us well. Sometimes they are big, obvious things and other times they are seemingly insignificant. Even the things that seem small and insignificant can have a major impact on your well-being. Whether they are big or small, self-destructive habits can wreak havoc. For many people, these habits will seem benign, and we wonder if they make that much of a difference. In reality, doing these things once in a while may not cause any issues. The problem comes when these little actions become habits. Engaging in these things repetitively is what causes changes in how we feel, what we think, and even how we interact with people. As you read through these habits, thoughtfully consider whether they characterize your life. Just because they are on the list doesn’t mean these are inherently bad things. Consider each one and ask yourself these questions: Do I do this? How often? How do I feel when I engage in this? How does the idea of eliminating this feel? Each of these questions gives insight into whether it is a habit in your life and how self-destructive it may be for you. The last question about eliminating the habit can provide a lot of insight. If the idea of eliminating the behavior feels uncomfortable, difficult, or scary, chances are it is a deeply ingrained habit that is not serving you well. Self-destructive habits to avoid. Consider each of these sneaky self-destructive habits and the role they play in your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Endless scrolling. Phones have made it so easy to get information, connect with people, get work done, and be entertained. The danger, however, is that people spend too much time scrolling. Seemingly endless scrolling without purpose [...]

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment Options

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment Options

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:32:01+00:00December 19th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Traumatic events are unpredictable and devastating. They can happen any time and anywhere, leaving the people who experience them with significant struggles as they try to process and recover from the memories of the event. Some people are gradually able to come to terms with what happened, but others are not. People whose symptoms do not go away may be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Their symptoms may become so pervasive that they interfere with their ability to function in their day-to-day life. Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. – Michelle Rosenthal If you have been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the good news is that it can be treated successfully. There are several effective forms of therapy that can help you regain control of your life and get it back on track. Evidence-based Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder treatment interventions. Evidence-based trauma-focused psychotherapies are considered to be the most effective PTSD treatment, and the first-line choice for people suffering from PTSD. Although they may use different techniques or a combination of them to help you process your memories of the trauma, the common goal is to diminish your anxiety, reduce avoidant behavior, and equip you with effective coping skills to manage your symptoms, handle stressful situations, and deal with any triggers that arise. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of talk therapy that focuses on the relationship between thoughts and behaviors. Its premise is that identifying and correcting the distorted thoughts that are at the root of your symptoms can lead to healthier ways of acting and an improved ability to control your emotions. Most PTSD treatment interventions are a form of cognitive behavioral therapy and fall under its umbrella. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT). Trauma-focused cognitive [...]

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How to Stop Worrying Through Self-Talk

How to Stop Worrying Through Self-Talk

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:32:14+00:00December 14th, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The conversations you have with yourself, in your mind or out loud, can either dial up or dial down the amount you worry about. “Inner talk is one of the most effective, least-used tools available to master the psyche and foster life success,” says Psychologist Ethan Kross. Times have changed since we thought others were crazy for talking to themselves. Many of us are doing it, and self-talk is recognized as an exceptionally useful tool as we navigate our various roles and areas of responsibility as a colleague, parents, siblings, students, and more. The quiet words we have with ourselves can help or hinder us as we learn how to stop worrying through self-talk. There are two types of self-talk. There is the quick reacting, knee jerk, and spontaneous reflex which comes from the emotional side of our brain. It is the hard-wired voice of survival and often it veers toward criticism or being negative which creates the environment required for self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and self-sabotage. The second voice comes from our prefrontal cortex, or thinking brain, and so it is linked to a greater ability to be introspective, deliberate, and have positive thoughts. Your internal voice of kindness is a skill that you have learned to tone down the effect of your emotional brain and give you healthy emotions and reactions such as happiness, lucidity, self-confidence, and composure that help you to stop the voice of worry and panic. The science of self-talk. Interestingly, studies show that how we use this quiet inner voice makes a real difference in our stress levels, how we respond to disappointments, as well as the capacity we have to accomplish tasks and fulfill various roles. If we listen to our natural fight or flight knee-jerk inner voice, we may well be too [...]

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