Children of Divorce: How to Help Them Cope
Divorce is hard. Sometimes in an effort to protect ourselves from the hurt and pain, we inadvertently dismiss what the children of divorce think or feel. Or, we believe them when they say they don’t want to talk about the divorce or that they don’t care. We want to believe that they will come out of this all right. The truth is that divorce affects every member of the family. It’s important to be open and honest with your child, but also watch out for any signs that they are having difficulty accepting the new living arrangements. If your child is having trouble, it might be time to enlist the help of a professional therapist. Speaking to Children of Divorce There can be multiple reasons why the communication breaks down between parents and children amid a divorce. It could be that talking about the divorce is too upsetting to the parent, so they simply tell their child in a brief statement about divorce. It could be that the child is hurt about the divorce but doesn’t want to admit it. Children of divorce sometimes shrug off the situation to keep their emotions at arm’s length. They may feel betrayed and decide that it is better to distance themselves to keep from getting hurt again. Other children may blame themselves for their parents’ inability to cohabitate. Whatever the reason, you can prevent miscommunication by talking openly to your child about the forthcoming changes before the separation, if possible. If you can, schedule a time when both parents can sit down with the child and explain the new arrangements. There is no need to go into detail about why the decision was made, but reiterate that both parents love the child. Of course, sitting down with the other parent before the divorce [...]
