Marriage Counseling

Take a read through this article and see how many of these causes for resentment in marriage you identify with. While this may not be a checklist you want to score well on it may be useful to know what specifically needs work from you as well as your spouse. One contributes more than the other. Between household chores, time with the children, the school run, and the financial contribution to running a household, there are many areas in a marriage where one may feel that they are doing more than their fair share and the other is not pulling their weight. There are also times when one partner feels they are actively building the marriage more intentionally than the other. When partners do not have the time, words, or emotional reserves to clearly explain how they are feeling in their relationship this type of resentment slowly accumulates and builds on itself. Try this: Sit down once a week with a weekly planner and discuss the plans and expectations each of you has for the week. Talk about when you will spend time together doing things you enjoy. Allowing the phone to suck up your time. Are there any rules or understandings in your home on what happens with phones around dinner time? Always having your phone, in your hand or at the table, ready to divert your attention away from your marriage with every notification can be a problem. Also, if you find yourself regularly checking it throughout times that are set aside for personal relationships between you, the message to your spouse is clear: They are not as important as whatever is on your phone. Try this: Create a phone bowl or box where the muted phones are placed once family time starts in the evening. Some [...]

As with many things, husbands and wives differ on when or how often to have sex in marriage. Men rarely see impediments to love-making and most think it is a good idea at almost any time. The condition of their marriage doesn’t interfere, nor do other issues with which they are coping. That’s possibly because men tend to be good at compartmentalizing; the circumstances in one part of their lives won’t necessarily spill over into the other parts. If they have financial problems, face difficulties in their jobs, or are angry at their wives, sex can still be a viable option. In fact, many husbands will gauge the overall quality of their marriage by how often they do it. For women, sex in marriage is often a welcome relief. However, if a man does not cherish his wife or make sure to look out for her needs she may withdraw from sex and make it a battleground. People can inflict consequences in marriage, punishing in the bedroom when disrespect, stress, and conflict are not worked out. Communication is the key to healing. Men and women might also differ in how their self-image affects their sexual appetite. Most men aren’t pre-occupied with their body image, but if a wife is dissatisfied with her figure, sex can be something that makes her uncomfortable. However, some wives are more critical of their appearance than are their husbands – they are generally happy with how their wives look. While in the middle of making love, a self-conscious woman might think about all the things that are wrong (“This sags, I’m too fat, my hips are too big, etc.”). Her husband, on the other hand, is consumed with one idea: “Hurray! She’s naked!” From a wife’s perspective, if her husband volunteers that he thinks she is sexy or attractive, she [...]