Men’s Issues Archives | Green Lake Christian Counseling

What is OCD? Common OCD Subtypes

What is OCD? Common OCD Subtypes

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-06-16T06:01:24+00:00June 16th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, OCD, Women’s Issues|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by persistent, active obsessions (fears) and compulsions (repetitive safety behavior). OCD is categorized as ongoing intrusive thoughts and urges that push individuals to repeat and perform specific behaviors to relieve anxiety. OCD regularly interferes with an individual’s ability to move through daily life and responsibilities. OCD can develop as a result of a multitude of factors, including a combination of genetics, biology of brain function, and environment. Previous research has shown that people who have been diagnosed with OCD often display differences in their frontal cortex and subcortical brain structures, affecting their ability to manage behavior and emotional responses effectively. OCD involves issues in the brain’s ability to regulate and receive appropriate amounts of serotonin and dopamine. OCD has been shown to suggest that genetic factors can be involved in developing the disorder, specifically in childhood. This can be primarily genetics or environmental factors, such as stressful life events or moderate to severe trauma, which can worsen symptoms. Different Types of OCD OCD is a complex disorder that includes various aspects that contribute to a diagnosis, including the differences in subtypes. An OCD subtype is a pattern of obsessions and compulsions focused on a specific fear and or theme. According to current research from NOCD, this disorder has numerous different subtypes, making it versatile. Checking OCD Checking OCD is a series of mental rituals by an individual designed to validate safety and prevent harmful catastrophes. With Checking OCD, common obsessions pertain, but are not limited to leaving the stove on, locking the door, or the concept of making a mistake that could potentially harm someone else. Safety behaviors, known as compulsions, can look like taking photos of plugs, repeatedly checking locks, appliances, or messages/emails, and seeking reassurance to find temporary [...]

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10 Ways Ambiguous Grief Changes How You See Relationships

10 Ways Ambiguous Grief Changes How You See Relationships

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-06-12T06:04:28+00:00June 12th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Grief is usually connected with death. Someone passes away, and we mourn their absence. But there’s another kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about nearly as much. It’s called ambiguous grief, and it’s a kind of loss that doesn’t have a clear ending. It’s the grief you feel when someone is still alive but no longer the same, or when a relationship continues in some form but feels broken or changed beyond recognition. You may not even realize you’re grieving. You just know something feels different. You feel sadness, frustration, or even anger, but you can’t point to a single moment that explains it. That’s the confusing part of ambiguous grief: it’s real, but it doesn’t fit the usual picture of loss. How Ambiguous Grief Manifests in Everyday Life Ambiguous grief can take many forms. It might be the pain of watching a parent fade into dementia, where they’re physically present but emotionally distant. It might be the ache of divorce, where the person is still alive, but the relationship you once had is gone. It might be the frustration of estrangement, where a sibling or child chooses distance instead of connection. Or it could be the quiet sadness of living with someone emotionally unavailable, leaving you feeling unseen even when they’re right there. In each of these situations, the person hasn’t died, but the relationship you had with them has changed in ways that feel like a loss. That’s why ambiguous grief is so painful; it’s grief without a clear goodbye. Why Ambiguous Grief Hurts Deeply Part of what makes ambiguous grief difficult is that it’s not always recognized. People around you may not understand why you’re hurting. They may even say things like, “But they’re still here,” or “At least it’s not the worst-case scenario.” Those [...]

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Mental Wellness: Understanding Impulse Control Disorders

Mental Wellness: Understanding Impulse Control Disorders

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2026-05-14T06:26:56+00:00May 14th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Impulse control disorders (ICDs) are a type of mental health disorder that is characterized by the inability to control certain impulses. These impulses can be aggressive and antisocial. Typically, individuals who struggle with ICD cannot overcome the impulse to engage in harmful, destructive, or disruptive manners. Understanding impulse control disorders is the first step toward better mental wellness. There are multiple categories of impulse control disorders as well as different symptoms. ICD usually appears in childhood, but there are rare occasions that it doesn’t manifest until adulthood. The causes of impulse control disorder are just as varied as the symptoms, depending on the person. ICDs can affect mental wellness to various degrees. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV Types of impulse control disorders and symptoms It is thought that impulse control disorders develop due to a combination of factors. These behaviors can occur with other mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. Biological factors may play a role in the development of ICDs. Commonly, most people who suffer from impulse control disorder have distress or conflict associated with this behavior. Oppositional Defiant Disorder An individual who struggles with this disorder will show signs of being uncooperative, defiant, and at times, hostile toward people in authority. These individuals find it hard to comply with any form of authority and often blame others for their attitudes and behaviors. The most common symptoms of ODD are: Frequently in trouble at school Has a hard time making/keeping friends Frequent anger bursts/temper tantrums Irritable, argumentative, angry Does not comply [...]

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What Happens In a DBT Therapy Group? How It Can Help You?

What Happens In a DBT Therapy Group? How It Can Help You?

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-04-30T14:33:56+00:00April 30th, 2026|Featured, Group Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Do you tend to blow up easily toward the people closest to you? Do your emotions feel out of control and get in the way of you achieving your goals? Do you feel misunderstood and have trouble connecting with people? If so, this article may be for you. What Is DBT? DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is a comprehensive, evidence-based treatment plan based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that has been especially adapted for people who feel emotions intensely, see things as black or white, and struggle with mood swings, emotional instability, relationship issues, and impulsive behaviors. It is conducted through a combination of one-on-one therapy sessions and participation in group therapy sessions. Both are vital to the program's success, but the therapy group is where you learn the skills and practice them with your peers. The dialectical part of DBT focuses on balancing opposing forces and helping you detach from either-or thinking. It teaches you to acknowledge that two things that seem opposite or contradictory can both be true at the same time. You can, for instance, both accept your challenges and work toward changing them simultaneously. The ultimate goal of DBT is to help you understand and accept your difficult feelings while equipping you with effective coping skills to manage them and make the positive changes you desire in your life. The DBT Therapy Group A DBT therapy group generally consists of six to ten people who meet for one to two hours a week for six months to a year. The group is conducted like a class with a structured curriculum that you attend to learn specific skills such as mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness that serve as tools to help you manage difficult emotions, cope with stress, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve your [...]

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Soul Care: Identity Formation

Soul Care: Identity Formation

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2026-03-24T06:39:15+00:00March 24th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Spiritual Development|

What makes up the foundation of your being? If you were to think of yourself as a house, the foundation of your house is underground and unseen. Similarly, your soul is the unseen foundation of your being and of who you are. Knowing what makes up the foundation of who you are is an essential part of becoming a healthy and integrated human being. A major part of your soul is your identity. Dr. Rob Reimer says, “What you believe about yourself is the foundation of your life; it is your identity, and a faulty foundation will create cracks in the soul. If you are going to construct a healthy life, it begins with what you believe about yourself.” What is your identity built upon? A way that you can begin to answer this question is to start examining what you believe about yourself. Not what you want other people to think or believe about you, but what do you think about yourself? Let’s take Dr. Reimer’s words into deeper consideration as we think about identity. Using his framework for understanding how the shaping of our souls informs the outworking of our identity, to properly comprehend our identity, we must first understand what our belief system is built upon. Each of us has an internal belief system. It has been formed, shaped, and molded over the course of our lives. This has likely happened through our various life experiences, including what we were taught about ourselves and about the world around us at a young age. We tend to expose our internal belief system in different ways. One common way we do this is through talking about ourselves and others. This internal data is not as hard to reach as people might think. It is constantly running in our [...]

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The Importance of Listening to Your Nervous System: A Christian Counselor Explains

The Importance of Listening to Your Nervous System: A Christian Counselor Explains

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2026-02-02T14:26:21+00:00January 30th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Let’s do a quick mental exercise. Briefly recall the last time that you were in a mildly stressful situation. Maybe you were rushing out the door to your car because you were late for an appointment. Or perhaps you were anticipating having an important conversation with your boss, a friend, or a family member. Now, once you’ve got that mildly stressful situation in your mind, bring your attention to what’s happening in your body at that moment. What is your breathing pattern? What actions does your body want to take? What sensations do you experience in your body, and where do you feel them? Finally, what emotions come to the surface? All of these are signals that come from a deeper place in you: your nervous system. The Nervous System The human nervous system is a complex and intricate web of nerve cells that send and receive electrical and chemical signals all over our bodies. From our brain stems, through our torso, into our arms, down into our stomachs, and into our legs, it covers a lot of ground, and it is an essential part of us that God has made. The questions above aim to bring awareness to what our nervous system is telling us about what we are experiencing, even when we may be unaware of it. They slow us down by training our awareness and attention to rest on a specific part of our experience: breathing, action, sensation, and emotion. Living in the modern world causes a significant amount of stress or anxiety for many people. Between juggling work responsibilities, maintaining friendships, raising children, and making sure basic needs are met, our lives can become overwhelming and fast-paced. While God has graciously given us the ability to adapt to our circumstances and environments, many still find themselves [...]

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The Necessity of Mind-Body Connection

The Necessity of Mind-Body Connection

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2025-09-25T07:23:02+00:00September 25th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development|

You are not a floating head When people enter counseling for the first time, there are often unspoken expectations about how the process will unfold. We’re going to talk about our feelings that confuse us, memories that you want to forget but can’t quite get past, or maybe even address some maladaptive patterns of thinking. But what about building an understanding or connection to your own body? Has this ever been one of your motivations or goals for seeking out counseling in the first place? In the Western world, we have taken up an ancient notion that our minds are separate from the rest of us. Our minds have, in many instances, become the center of our being. We become floating heads walking around with a bunch of dead weight below our shoulders. The only issue is that you are not a floating head. None of us is. Dr. Dan Siegel, in his book titled The Developing Mind, puts forth this definition of the mind: “The system of the mind, the flow of energy and information, is not limited by skull or skin. This system of mind happens within the whole body and in our relationships – it is within and between, embodied and relational. The mind is an embodied and relational process that regulates the flow of energy and information.” The Mind in Process What Dr. Siegel is getting at here is that while we may be operating under the assumption that our mind is stuck in between our ears, the reality is that our mind is a process. It is something that is formed in and through relationships, and it regulates the flow of information. This information comes from external stimuli, our own consciousness, our subjective experience, and our internal process of self-organization. These four facets of [...]

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8 Types of Loneliness and How to Navigate Them

8 Types of Loneliness and How to Navigate Them

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2025-10-22T15:36:47+00:00July 3rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Pornography Addiction, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article https://greenlakecounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Greenlake-Christian-Counseling-8-Types-of-Loneliness-and-How-to-Navigate-Them.mp3 Loneliness is an emotional experience characterized often by sadness, desire, longing, and the belief that says, “I am alone in this world.” In many ways, this can be a devastating experience for the heart and mind. Universally, it is true that we were made for connection to ourselves, God, and others. However, despite living in one of the most connected ages where most people are only a phone call or text message away, this is also one of the loneliest and most isolating times. How can this be? If we desperately want to be connected relationally, then why does it sometimes feel so hard to achieve? Loneliness, as an emotional experience, carries nuance. There are different types of loneliness that we can experience throughout our lifetime. Being aware of some of these nuances is a first step in taking action toward being more connected. Today, we will look at eight varieties of loneliness and some ways to practically combat them. Eight Types of Loneliness Emotional Loneliness “I have people around me, but no one truly sees me.” This is a type of loneliness that often leaves you feeling invisible to others, as if when they look in your direction, they see right through you. Along with this type of loneliness comes feelings of deep-rooted bitterness, anger, and resentment at being ignored, overlooked, or unseen. To navigate this type of loneliness, practicing vulnerability will be an essential part of regaining a sense of emotional connection. People who have experienced emotional loneliness often present themselves as independent, capable, and high-achieving. They have gone far in their marriage, career, or relationships by being self-reliant. Unfortunately, when a person is self-reliant for so long, they may forget how to let others in. Additionally, a lot of [...]

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Relationship Advice for Men: Strengthening Your Marriage Against Infidelity

Relationship Advice for Men: Strengthening Your Marriage Against Infidelity

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2025-06-11T06:05:46+00:00June 11th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are a key part of our lives. Having people to love and people who love us is one of the main things that indicate our well-being. That’s because relationships are fundamental to who we are as social and relational beings. When our relationships are healthy, it’s more likely that we feel a sense of well-being than when everything else is in order and our relationships are in disarray. This makes it imperative to nurture our relationships. When your relationships are healthy and you have people with whom to share life, it can amplify various life experiences such as accomplishing something significant, enjoying yourself, laughing, having a great meal, or having a sense of meaning and purpose. When you feel deeply connected to others, you’ll likely carry a sense of meaning and that life has a purpose. Marriage is among the most intimate of human relationships. You share your life, thoughts, hopes, dreams, ambitions, fears, body, finances, home, and children with the person you call “spouse”. Sharing your life with another person is an amazing journey that can also be fraught with perils. Infidelity is one of the ways a marriage can come under threat. Understanding what infidelity is and how to guard against it is vital. Breaking Down Infidelity If you were to ask a group of ten guys how they would define infidelity, it’s possible you’d get at least 5 different answers to that question. In our society, people have drawn personal boundaries in diverse places, and how one man understands certain practices won’t be the same as another man’s understanding. One man might not think watching pornography is problematic, while another does, for example. In one sense, defining infidelity will be a matter of what personal boundaries one has. This makes it vital that you and your [...]

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The Presence of Self-Contempt in Your Story

The Presence of Self-Contempt in Your Story

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2025-05-31T09:28:47+00:00June 2nd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Addiction, Trauma|

In a previous article on shame and self-contempt, I provided a broad definition of self-contempt and gave a brief description of what it is and how it functions. If you haven’t given that article a read, I’d recommend it as I will be building on some already-established ideas about the reality of self-contempt. The goal is to narrow the focus and move our attention more specifically to self-contempt and how it shows up in the story of your life. As we explore this topic, I hope that you, the reader, will be more equipped to identify the presence of self-contempt in your own story without judgment. I hope that your curiosity will be stirred as you begin to consider questions such as, “How did I come to feel this way about myself?” “Why do I treat my body or my heart this way?” “What has shaped my beliefs about myself?” or “Is this how God views me?” In my interactions with clients and through my healing journey, I have found that self-contempt frequently resides in the subconscious realm of our awareness. This realm of our awareness is easily accessible. More often than not, things that reside in this area come to the surface without us being fully cognizant of them. This is to say that much of our self-contempt and what we believe about ourselves reside in a place that is accessible, just outside of our conscious awareness. Self-Contempt Defined In my previous article, I gave a somewhat wordy definition of self-contempt: “Self-contempt is to have contempt (the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn) or loathing for oneself and one’s actions. In other words, it is to have the feeling or belief that you, or a part of you, is worthless, [...]

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