Kate Motaung, Green Lake Christian Counseling

Understanding and Overcoming Separation Anxiety in Relationships

Understanding and Overcoming Separation Anxiety in Relationships

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2026-09-17T08:28:07+00:00September 17th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you regularly watch the time as you wait for your partner to return home, obsessively check your phone for messages from them, or feel physically ill at the thought of them going away on a work trip, you may be experiencing separation anxiety. Separation anxiety in relationships looks like many different things, from physical nervousness to mental anguish, but consistent issues are lurking beneath it. Separation anxiety is almost always connected to fear of abandonment, self-esteem issues, and emotional wounds from childhood neglect. When you feel separation anxiety and your partner does not, it can cause major imbalances in the relationship. There is no switch you can flip to turn off the separation anxiety. You might be aware of the strain you are placing on the relationship or how you are overwhelming and frustrating your partner, but you can’t stop. Separation anxiety in relationships is almost always linked to wounds that need healing and trauma that needs to be resolved. It’s not easy to do, and you can’t always do it alone, but you can start to find healing today. What Separation Anxiety in Relationships Feels Like Like other forms of anxiety, separation anxiety in relationships can be exhausting for everyone involved. It usually starts with the build-up: you know your partner is going away for a few days, and you feel anxious in advance. Your stomach curls up into a ball, you feel restless and on edge, and you become preemptively upset with your partner, even though they have done nothing wrong. You know that you won’t see them for a few days, or in some cases, a few hours, and this makes you feel a lot of things. Sometimes you can’t name the emotions you feel, but they are strong, and they deeply affect you. People [...]

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The Purpose of Mindfulness in Counseling

The Purpose of Mindfulness in Counseling

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2026-09-08T08:19:31+00:00September 8th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Trauma|

In the world of counseling psychology and therapy, the concept of mindfulness has been growing in both popularity and interest over the last several decades. As this trend has grown, researchers have brought additional evidence to support the use of mindfulness practices in counseling and therapy sessions. In this article, I’d like to bring attention to the effectiveness of mindfulness, some of the clinical evidence that supports its use, as well as some practical techniques, trauma-informed applications, and how we can integrate mindfulness practices into our Christian spiritual formation. Before we dive into some of the particularities of mindfulness, let’s first answer the question, “What is mindfulness?” Mindfulness is a practice that asks the participant to deliberately and intentionally focus his/her attention on their present experience in a nonjudgmental way. Furthermore, mindfulness is a state that helps individuals become more aware of physical, mental, and emotional conditions without judgment. In other words, it can be described as a state of focused attention, paying particular attention to the moment, in a nonjudgmental way. Clinical Evidence for the Use of Mindfulness Techniques Research done through the American Counseling Association found that mindfulness is used in the treatment of a variety of mental-health concerns such as intellectual disorders, autism spectrum, trauma, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and sexual dysfunction disorders. Additionally, mindfulness techniques can be paired with different therapeutic modalities to enhance the healing process and spur on deeper transformation. An article published by Positive Psychology states that mindfulness (through mindfulness-based interventions) changes neural pathways in the brain related to rumination, worry, self-regulation, compassion, attention, emotional reactivity, and affect. Put more simply, clinical evidence shows that the practice of mindfulness helps change your brain’s thinking patterns. Furthermore, it changes the structure of your brain’s neural pathways, which ultimately allows you to [...]

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Tapping for Anxiety: What is it and How Does it Work?

Tapping for Anxiety: What is it and How Does it Work?

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-09-04T07:12:14+00:00August 20th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Tapping, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a simple, yet highly effective, evidence-based tool. It combines elements of traditional Chinese medicine, such as stimulation of acupuncture points, with components of modern Western therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, and Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EFT sends calming signals to your brain that help reset your body’s nervous system and quickly reduce symptoms of anxiety, pain, or emotional distress. The process involves using your fingertips to tap on specific points of your face, head, and upper body, while identifying and acknowledging the negative feeling you want to release. You accept and reframe it by pairing it with a positive affirmation that shifts the focus from what is wrong to what is possible. The Science Behind Tapping The involuntary functions of your body, such as heart rate, breathing, and digestion, happen without conscious thought. They are controlled by two branches of your autonomic nervous system: the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Your sympathetic nervous system is responsible for your body’s fight-or-flight response. When it senses danger, it acts as an alarm system, triggering physiological changes such as speeding up your heart rate and breathing, and tensing your muscles, to prepare your body to handle the perceived threat. In contrast, your parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for relaxation and acts as a rest and digest system that slows things down to conserve energy and promote recovery. Scientific studies, including brain wave scans, have shown that tapping can influence brain processes related to stress and emotional regulation. It can also produce profound physical changes related to your autonomic nervous system by sending electrochemical impulses to the parts of the brain that control stress and anxiety. This disrupts fight or flight signals and rewires neural pathways. Effects of tapping on [...]

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Renewing Your Mental Strength by Deepening Your Relationship with God

Renewing Your Mental Strength by Deepening Your Relationship with God

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-08-19T07:40:14+00:00July 24th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development, Women’s Issues|

It’s considered cool these days to boost mental strength with coffee, productivity tricks, or motivational quotes, but many times, those fixes fade as quickly as they arrive. Quick hacks can make the mind steady for a moment, then just as quickly slip back into fatigue and stress. Without a deeper anchor, you end up feeling worn down, reactive, and disconnected if all you’re rooted in are hacks. A relationship with God is not just a religious symbol; it is a practical source of mental strength that can help you think clearly, respond calmly, and stay grounded when life feels demanding. When you’re spiritually rooted, mentally, this is also a powerful source of renewal. Why Mental Strength Slips Away We all know how it feels when the mind starts to lose its calmness. When you can literally feel it as the stress builds, emotions pile up, and you start reacting instead of responding. Mental strength slips away when you try to carry everything on your own. Your mental strength breaks down when: Stress is constant and unrelieved. Emotions are bottled up instead of being expressed in honesty. Your identity is tied to performance instead of your real self. Rest is ignored and replaced with endless activity. These pressures all build up to leave cracks in your mental health. They make you vulnerable to anxiety, burnout, and discouragement. You may push harder, stay up later, or keep adding more to your plate, but eventually your thoughts feel scattered, and your patience runs thin. Recognizing these cracks is the first step toward renewal. Without God’s presence grounding you, your mental strength wears down faster than you realize. How Faith and Mental Strength Are Connected You may not always connect your mental health with your faith, but the two are deeply linked. When [...]

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What is OCD? Common OCD Subtypes

What is OCD? Common OCD Subtypes

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-06-16T06:01:24+00:00June 16th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, OCD, Women’s Issues|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by persistent, active obsessions (fears) and compulsions (repetitive safety behavior). OCD is categorized as ongoing intrusive thoughts and urges that push individuals to repeat and perform specific behaviors to relieve anxiety. OCD regularly interferes with an individual’s ability to move through daily life and responsibilities. OCD can develop as a result of a multitude of factors, including a combination of genetics, biology of brain function, and environment. Previous research has shown that people who have been diagnosed with OCD often display differences in their frontal cortex and subcortical brain structures, affecting their ability to manage behavior and emotional responses effectively. OCD involves issues in the brain’s ability to regulate and receive appropriate amounts of serotonin and dopamine. OCD has been shown to suggest that genetic factors can be involved in developing the disorder, specifically in childhood. This can be primarily genetics or environmental factors, such as stressful life events or moderate to severe trauma, which can worsen symptoms. Different Types of OCD OCD is a complex disorder that includes various aspects that contribute to a diagnosis, including the differences in subtypes. An OCD subtype is a pattern of obsessions and compulsions focused on a specific fear and or theme. According to current research from NOCD, this disorder has numerous different subtypes, making it versatile. Checking OCD Checking OCD is a series of mental rituals by an individual designed to validate safety and prevent harmful catastrophes. With Checking OCD, common obsessions pertain, but are not limited to leaving the stove on, locking the door, or the concept of making a mistake that could potentially harm someone else. Safety behaviors, known as compulsions, can look like taking photos of plugs, repeatedly checking locks, appliances, or messages/emails, and seeking reassurance to find temporary [...]

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10 Ways Ambiguous Grief Changes How You See Relationships

10 Ways Ambiguous Grief Changes How You See Relationships

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-06-12T06:04:28+00:00June 12th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Grief is usually connected with death. Someone passes away, and we mourn their absence. But there’s another kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about nearly as much. It’s called ambiguous grief, and it’s a kind of loss that doesn’t have a clear ending. It’s the grief you feel when someone is still alive but no longer the same, or when a relationship continues in some form but feels broken or changed beyond recognition. You may not even realize you’re grieving. You just know something feels different. You feel sadness, frustration, or even anger, but you can’t point to a single moment that explains it. That’s the confusing part of ambiguous grief: it’s real, but it doesn’t fit the usual picture of loss. How Ambiguous Grief Manifests in Everyday Life Ambiguous grief can take many forms. It might be the pain of watching a parent fade into dementia, where they’re physically present but emotionally distant. It might be the ache of divorce, where the person is still alive, but the relationship you once had is gone. It might be the frustration of estrangement, where a sibling or child chooses distance instead of connection. Or it could be the quiet sadness of living with someone emotionally unavailable, leaving you feeling unseen even when they’re right there. In each of these situations, the person hasn’t died, but the relationship you had with them has changed in ways that feel like a loss. That’s why ambiguous grief is so painful; it’s grief without a clear goodbye. Why Ambiguous Grief Hurts Deeply Part of what makes ambiguous grief difficult is that it’s not always recognized. People around you may not understand why you’re hurting. They may even say things like, “But they’re still here,” or “At least it’s not the worst-case scenario.” Those [...]

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Mental Wellness: Understanding Impulse Control Disorders

Mental Wellness: Understanding Impulse Control Disorders

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2026-08-19T07:45:11+00:00May 14th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Impulse control disorders (ICDs) are a type of mental health disorder that is characterized by the inability to control certain impulses. These impulses can be aggressive and antisocial. Typically, individuals who struggle with ICD cannot overcome the impulse to engage in harmful, destructive, or disruptive manners. Understanding impulse control disorders is the first step toward better mental wellness. There are multiple categories of impulse control disorders as well as different symptoms. ICD usually appears in childhood, but there are rare occasions that it doesn’t manifest until adulthood. The causes of impulse control disorder are just as varied as the symptoms, depending on the person. ICDs can affect mental wellness to various degrees. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV Types of impulse control disorders and symptoms It is thought that impulse control disorders develop due to a combination of factors. These behaviors can occur with other mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. Biological factors may play a role in the development of ICDs. Commonly, most people who suffer from impulse control disorder have distress or conflict associated with this behavior. Oppositional Defiant Disorder An individual who struggles with this disorder will show signs of being uncooperative, defiant, and at times, hostile toward people in authority. These individuals find it hard to comply with any form of authority and often blame others for their attitudes and behaviors. The most common symptoms of ODD are: Frequently in trouble at school Has a hard time making/keeping friends Frequent anger bursts/temper tantrums Irritable, argumentative, angry Does not comply [...]

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What Happens In a DBT Therapy Group? How It Can Help You?

What Happens In a DBT Therapy Group? How It Can Help You?

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-04-30T14:33:56+00:00April 30th, 2026|Featured, Group Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Do you tend to blow up easily toward the people closest to you? Do your emotions feel out of control and get in the way of you achieving your goals? Do you feel misunderstood and have trouble connecting with people? If so, this article may be for you. What Is DBT? DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) is a comprehensive, evidence-based treatment plan based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that has been especially adapted for people who feel emotions intensely, see things as black or white, and struggle with mood swings, emotional instability, relationship issues, and impulsive behaviors. It is conducted through a combination of one-on-one therapy sessions and participation in group therapy sessions. Both are vital to the program's success, but the therapy group is where you learn the skills and practice them with your peers. The dialectical part of DBT focuses on balancing opposing forces and helping you detach from either-or thinking. It teaches you to acknowledge that two things that seem opposite or contradictory can both be true at the same time. You can, for instance, both accept your challenges and work toward changing them simultaneously. The ultimate goal of DBT is to help you understand and accept your difficult feelings while equipping you with effective coping skills to manage them and make the positive changes you desire in your life. The DBT Therapy Group A DBT therapy group generally consists of six to ten people who meet for one to two hours a week for six months to a year. The group is conducted like a class with a structured curriculum that you attend to learn specific skills such as mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness that serve as tools to help you manage difficult emotions, cope with stress, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve your [...]

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Is There Such a Thing as Religious OCD?

Is There Such a Thing as Religious OCD?

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2026-04-22T07:31:19+00:00April 8th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD, Spiritual Development|

Religious OCD is real. Also known as scrupulosity, it is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in which the scrupulous person is obsessed by intrusive thoughts. He or she believes they committed a sin or did or thought something blasphemous. This triggers feelings of intense fear and distress that drive him or her to behave in extreme, compulsive religious ways to try and get rid of the obsessions and silence the anxiety. I just want to know if I can go to Heaven. That’s all I want in life, salvation in the next. – Sarah Gracia Symptoms Of Religious OCD Symptoms of religious OCD include a combination of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. Obsessions Obsessions are typically centered around fear of angering God by committing a sin or blasphemy and being punished for it. Some common examples include: Fear of having committed a sin or done something blasphemous that you don’t remember doing, or may have done by mistake, not realizing you were doing it. Confusing feelings with facts, and seeing possible or imaginary sin where there is no sin. Irrational, intrusive thoughts of not being devout, moral, or faithful enough, despite all evidence to the contrary. Excessive concern over whether you are praying or performing the rites or observations of your religion correctly, and whether or not you are completely following God’s will in every area of your life. Sudden, intrusive blasphemous thoughts, such as sexual images about religious leaders, or urges to curse God or sell your soul to the devil. These thoughts pop into your mind even during prayer or worship, and trigger intense guilt and fear as you wonder if you really meant to have them. Constant fear of doing something wrong that would jeopardize your soul and cause you to lose your salvation and [...]

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Soul Care: Identity Formation

Soul Care: Identity Formation

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2026-03-24T06:39:15+00:00March 24th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Spiritual Development|

What makes up the foundation of your being? If you were to think of yourself as a house, the foundation of your house is underground and unseen. Similarly, your soul is the unseen foundation of your being and of who you are. Knowing what makes up the foundation of who you are is an essential part of becoming a healthy and integrated human being. A major part of your soul is your identity. Dr. Rob Reimer says, “What you believe about yourself is the foundation of your life; it is your identity, and a faulty foundation will create cracks in the soul. If you are going to construct a healthy life, it begins with what you believe about yourself.” What is your identity built upon? A way that you can begin to answer this question is to start examining what you believe about yourself. Not what you want other people to think or believe about you, but what do you think about yourself? Let’s take Dr. Reimer’s words into deeper consideration as we think about identity. Using his framework for understanding how the shaping of our souls informs the outworking of our identity, to properly comprehend our identity, we must first understand what our belief system is built upon. Each of us has an internal belief system. It has been formed, shaped, and molded over the course of our lives. This has likely happened through our various life experiences, including what we were taught about ourselves and about the world around us at a young age. We tend to expose our internal belief system in different ways. One common way we do this is through talking about ourselves and others. This internal data is not as hard to reach as people might think. It is constantly running in our [...]

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