Kate Motaung, Green Lake Christian Counseling

Food for Anxiety: What’s Eating You? (And What You Should Eat!)

Food for Anxiety: What’s Eating You? (And What You Should Eat!)

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-12-16T03:21:56+00:00December 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety is real and it’s no respecter of persons. It’s that gnawing little pest that sneaks up on you when you least expect it, like a toddler with a permanent marker near your freshly painted walls. Anxiety may be real and frustrating and even life-altering, but it doesn’t get the final say over your life! There are many strategies you can implement to help attack the anxiety that plagues you, but one that is often overlooked is also one of the simplest to put into action: your dinner plate. In this article, we’ll look at healthy food for anxiety and how it can help. What is anxiety, anyway? Anxiety can make your thoughts race, your heart pound, and try to convince you that the worst-case scenario about why your boss called a meeting is true. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can make this a daily reality, affecting everything from your sleep to your relationships. The world tells us to medicate or meditate – both of which can help – but did you know that there’s a divine design to what we eat and how it affects how we feel? Let’s dive in! (And don’t worry, there’s dark chocolate ahead!) Food for Anxiety Before you roll your eyes and think, “Great! More Stuff I can’t eat,” let me assure you – this isn’t a conversation about diet restrictions. This is about freedom! Yes, freedom! Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Freedom from the worry that stalks your brain at 3 AM. Freedom from anxiety that makes you want to wear your blanket like a cape all day. And believe it or not, part of that freedom might just come from your grocery cart. So, what food for anxiety should you eat when it feels [...]

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Left Behind: 8 Signs of Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Left Behind: 8 Signs of Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2024-12-11T05:53:27+00:00December 11th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

“Because separation is a clearcut and undeniable event, its effects on the child and the parent-child relationship were easier to document than more subtle influences of parental and familial interaction.” – Inge Bretherton reporting on John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s work with Attachment Theory As the quote above suggests, to experience abandonment implies a separation, specifically in the parent-child relationship, that is clear-cut and undeniable. To be abandoned leaves a specific kind of mark on the soul which points to a particular, distinguishable moment. More simply, if you have experienced abandonment, you will know it. To discuss the reality of being or feeling abandoned is to also talk about one’s attachment style – or style of relating – which has been first and foremost influenced by our relationships with our parents. Abandonment issues have everything to do with how we attach or don’t attach, relationally to others. In this article, we will look at eight signs or symptoms that point to underlying abandonment issues in relationships. 1. An Internal Struggle with Fear Insecurity Regarding Relationships In the realm of attachment, a child is looking to their parents to be seen, safe, soothed, and secure. At a fundamental level, the child is unable to provide these things for him/herself and must rely on their mother or father for such care. However, if the child’s parent or caregiver is unable to provide these things, this creates a state of internal panic for the child. The child learns that their caregiver is ultimately unreliable, and he/she must make a decision: “I will separate myself from my caregiver and get my needs met elsewhere”, or “I will adjust myself to mom or dad and care for their needs, in the hopes that once they’re ok I can then get my needs met.” From [...]

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Rewriting History: Overcoming Depression’s Legacy in a Family

Rewriting History: Overcoming Depression’s Legacy in a Family

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-12-07T04:38:50+00:00December 9th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We can see the fingerprints of our Father’s grace in the pages of scripture. God’s family story begins in Genesis when He formed Adam from earth’s dust and continues to the end of Revelations. God continues to extend righteousness and truth in our world today, just as He did with the families noted in Scripture. The enemy also seeks to work through the generations (Psalm 100:5) through cycles of sin and dysfunction. He causes us to repeat the patterns of those who preceded us to destroy the destiny of those who come after. Deconstructing Devastation When we consider his evil intentions, we must recognize that some of the trauma imposed in our lives was designed to destroy us and the families we love. Each family’s trauma history will vary, but the unresolved pain that results in depression and other mental health challenges universally disrupts our lives. We can plug in our own family’s unique variables and still find a common element; every family in humanity encounters suffering at some point. The odds we thought we’d beaten appear again, and hopelessness hits close to home. Despite the war waged against our bloodlines, our faith cuts its teeth in darkness and despair. It locks its jaw, sinking a bite into the promises of God. When grounded in the Word, faith refuses to cut our families off from God’s goodness, despite every ominous threat. We may feel like abandoning ship, but God has anchored a hope within that keeps us and those connected to us from detaching from His purpose (Hebrews 6:19). Inevitably, storms will rage and impact us differently, but God remains steady, enabling us to weather impassible waters with Him. It’s bewildering how quickly trouble can spiral in our lives. It’s often in hindsight that we see God’s plan working together. [...]

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4 Therapy Strategies for Adults with ADHD

4 Therapy Strategies for Adults with ADHD

Haley Jansen, Kate Motaung2024-12-06T06:55:52+00:00December 6th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Attention deficit disorder hyperactivity (ADHD) is a disorder that affects the person’s brain, affecting their ability to concentrate and keep focused for long periods. This lack of focus can intrude on every area of a person’s life and is not only difficult for children but also for adults. Because it’s not as widely known in adults as it is in children, there can be a stigma attached to adults who believe they have the disorder but have not been officially diagnosed. For an adult who has trouble getting a diagnosis, there may still be strategies available to help them cope. If you are someone or know someone with ADHD, it can also be frustrating for the people impacted by the disorder as those who have it. Adults with ADHD need to have supportive people around who will help assist and encourage them with strategies to help them get through life’s demands. ADHD Therapy Strategies for Adults Because the disorder is more widely recognized, strategies are available to bring hope to those who struggle to get through and manage everyday tasks. Here are four therapy strategies for adults with ADHD: Divide Tasks Into Small Chunks People with ADHD have difficulty juggling more than a few tasks at a time. However, in the business of life, it’s common for a significant other, coworker, or boss to assign five or six important tasks for a person with ADHD to complete. This can be an area of frustration and could make them feel anxious or overwhelmed. To help combat these feelings, divide tasks into segments. Give them the most important tasks first and limit the number of tasks to no more than three. Encourage the person with ADHD to complete the three tasks. If they still have mental focus and attention, move on [...]

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The Cycle of Codependency

The Cycle of Codependency

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2024-12-09T14:14:46+00:00December 6th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency is a dynamic where two people rely heavily on each other for mental, emotional, practical, and spiritual support in an intense and imbalanced way. There is a giver and a taker in the relationship, or a rescuer and a victim.One needs the other and takes everything they have to offer while the other gives and supports at great cost because they need to be needed. It has been described as “toxic attachment” or “dysfunctional connection” by some mental health experts.This imbalanced dynamic can feel safe and good at first, because both partakers fall so effortlessly into their role. Both receive what they have been craving on a deep level. However, over time this dynamic ends up affecting everyone involved and can cause lasting emotional trauma.The good news is that if you are caught up in a codependent dynamic, or have codependent tendencies, you are not stuck. It is possible to recognize the cycle of codependency and break free from it.Rescuers and Victims“Codependency” as a term first came into use in the context of substance addiction. In this context, a rescuer comes to the aid of an addict, or victim, and attempts to help them. The addict needs help but doesn’t want to quit their habits, and the rescuer needs to be needed but is afraid of the addict becoming independent and leaving them.By a process of manipulation and over-involvement in each other’s lives, the rescuer and addict become locked in an unhealthy dynamic where one is still abusing substances and the other has become addicted to being seen as an emotional support.We now use the term “codependency” mostly in the context of relationships, although the same dynamics are at play. There is generally a person who lowers their boundaries and denies themselves (the rescuer) to support or subtly control [...]

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10 Symptoms of Depression in Teens

10 Symptoms of Depression in Teens

Haley Jansen, Kate Motaung2024-11-26T07:38:39+00:00November 26th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

You would do anything for your children. Walk over hot coals? Check. Drive an hour one way to a ball game? Check. Stay by their side through the flu? Check. However, the symptoms of depression in teens can be subtle. Depression is not something that you can take from your child and shoulder the burden, as much as you may want to. Instead, it will be helpful if you are aware of the symptoms of depression in teens so you can seek help at the appropriate time. Depression in Families Depression can run in families. If you struggle with depression, your child has a higher likelihood of developing depression. Parents and siblings with a history of depression can “pass on” the mental condition to another child. Whether due to genetic or environmental factors, children or siblings of people with depression may develop stronger depressive episodes than their peers. Depression goes beyond simply feeling sad after a disappointment. Feeling and processing emotions like sadness, disappointment, and anger is normal. However, depression can last several weeks, months, or years. Symptoms of Depression in Teens Teenagers go through hormonal changes that can lead to moodiness, irritability, and social withdrawal. But when should you become concerned as a parent that your child’s behavior is more than just temperamental teenage behavior? Could it be symptoms of depression in teens instead? The following is a list of the most common symptoms of depression in teens. If your child displays these signs for more than two weeks, they may develop depression. Reach out to a counselor. If your teen engages in self-harm or makes comments about suicide or death, seek help immediately. Feelings of Sadness and Hopelessness Persistent sadness is a hallmark symptom of depression. Feelings of hopelessness, dread, and emptiness can accompany this sadness. These [...]

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Coping with Grief: Scriptures About Loss to Help You Grieve

Coping with Grief: Scriptures About Loss to Help You Grieve

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2024-11-19T13:17:26+00:00November 18th, 2024|Featured, General, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

The world we live in is a broken one. That brokenness manifests itself in diverse ways, from relationships mired in conflict, rifts between loved ones, having those you love taken from you by illness or some other calamity, and so on. There is much weeping and sorrow that accompanies our sojourn. Scripture reflects this reality and gives us the language to process our experiences and grieve the various losses we go through. In this article, we’ll consider some encouragement and tips for coping with grief. Grief comes to us all, and it does so in different ways. Rather than denying our grief, the healthy thing for us to do is to acknowledge that we have indeed experienced loss and to deal with that loss by grieving. For a believer, that grieving process is aided by resources such as a community of believers that mourn with and comfort them (Romans 12:15; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5), prayer, and Scripture. Grieving as a Process Grieving is how we respond to a loss. There are different types of loss, such as the death of a loved one, significant changes in your health, life changes such as achieving certain milestones or moving house, relationships coming to an end due to separation or divorce, and the loss of identity resulting from life transitions. These different forms of loss trigger an emotional and mental response known as grief. We don’t all experience grief in the same way. While grief is often associated with sadness, there aren’t any hard and fast rules about the kinds of emotions a person experiences when they are grieving or the duration of those emotions. Some people feel sadness, while others experience denial, anger, shock, regret, guilt, relief, a sense of acceptance, longing, or numbness. Grief is a complicated and highly individual process. [...]

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What is Insecure Avoidant Attachment?

What is Insecure Avoidant Attachment?

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:26:58+00:00October 22nd, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Take a moment to think back on yourself as a child. Think about your relationships with your parents or caregivers. What were they like? Did you feel safe and secure around them? Was your heart met with delight? Were your desires honored with curiosity and healthy discipline? Did they attune to you when you were upset or crying? Did they comfort you and bring you back to a calm or regulated place? Insecure-avoidant attachment defined To ask the question, “What is insecure-avoidant attachment?” is to engage these core areas and narratives around desire, delight, safety, attunement, and curiosity. More specifically, it is to engage these core places where the need was not fully met by a parent or caregiver. To have an avoidant attachment is to ultimately avoid the need or desire for dependence on anyone. It is what it sounds like: avoiding attachment altogether. However, the avoidance doesn’t simply end there. People with an avoidant attachment style have learned over time to make themselves distant from their own emotions, wants, and desires. As we will see in this article, this behavior is not random. Meaning, the process of avoiding attachment has been shaped, molded, and formed through repeated interactions. It is a narrative embedded in a person’s beliefs about themselves and about how they navigate wanting intimacy in their relationships. And this is the narrative: “I am alone and on my own. I cannot depend on anyone to meet my needs.” It is an embodied narrative of deep loneliness, despair, and a longing to be seen and known. It is an internal state that is marked by abandonment and suppressed desire which can be traced back to childhood. How it comes about As we develop from infancy to childhood and into adulthood, we start in a vulnerable place. [...]

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What Does it Mean to Receive Trauma-Informed Care?

What Does it Mean to Receive Trauma-Informed Care?

Haley Jansen, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:27:48+00:00October 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

A person who experiences trauma has a hard time getting the help needed due to the alteration of their ability to recover from the event. Trauma is not the same for all people, so there is no one way to approach the healing process. Receiving safe healthcare for trauma starts with the ability of the caregiver to understand that trauma can impact a person’s ability to engage in treatment. This is the basis of trauma-informed care. What is trauma-informed care? Trauma-informed care is the practice of universal precautions for trauma. Just like the universal precautions for pathogens, trauma-informed care is a way to implement policies that will prevent the possibility of re-traumatization for some individuals. This type of care will promote an awareness of having a safe environment for those who struggle with trauma-induced health issues. Trauma-informed care focuses on reducing further harm and opens the door to healing. A trauma-informed approach adopts the thought process of having a complete picture of the person’s life to provide comprehensive and effective treatment. This practice will lead to an improvement in individual engagement. When the individual engages in treatment there is a higher likelihood of a positive outcome. This can also help reduce the cost of gaining effective health care. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wing you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. – Psalm 91:4-6, NIV Why is trauma-informed care important? When it comes to understanding the effect of trauma, many people cannot fathom why some individuals have reacted in specific ways to a traumatic event. The common thought is [...]

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Symptoms of OCD and How Christian Counseling Can Help

Symptoms of OCD and How Christian Counseling Can Help

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:28:12+00:00October 15th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental health condition that involves repetitive, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that are relieved by repetitive rituals (compulsions) that appease the discomfort of the behavior. As the symptoms of OCD become more pronounced, the pattern of behavior can become further engrained and feel uncontrollable, causing much distress to the individual, as well as their loved ones who witness the struggle. At the heart of OCD lies deep-seated anxiety, which can be treated with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. However, Christian counseling offers an additional tool. By reminding individuals that the symptoms of OCD are not beyond the sovereignty of Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit, a person can experience the renewal of their thought patterns. Common symptoms of OCD OCD is sometimes a term used in jest to describe someone who is extremely neat and organized, or who maintains a high level of personal hygiene. While symptoms of OCD can certainly manifest in this way, there are other ways in which compulsions are displayed. Researchers have defined the behaviors as falling into six primary categories. These include: A focus on cleanliness This compulsion is rooted in a fear of contamination. It leads an individual to be intensely focused on avoiding contact with germs, dirt, viruses, or bodily fluids. They may have to wash their hands several times a day, wipe down every surface touched multiple times, and avoid social contact because of what illnesses it might lead to. Individuals who show these symptoms of OCD are completely gripped by a debilitating fear that intrudes on their ability to function normally in society. Order and sequencing Some with OCD have an overwhelming urge to order objects in a certain way to bring about exactness and symmetry. If something is misplaced, it will cause anxiety, until it [...]

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