Kate Motaung, Green Lake Christian Counseling

What is Insecure Avoidant Attachment?

What is Insecure Avoidant Attachment?

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T11:33:09+00:00October 22nd, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Take a moment to think back on yourself as a child. Think about your relationships with your parents or caregivers. What were they like? Did you feel safe and secure around them? Was your heart met with delight? Were your desires honored with curiosity and healthy discipline? Did they attune to you when you were upset or crying? Did they comfort you and bring you back to a calm or regulated place? Insecure-avoidant attachment defined To ask the question, “What is insecure-avoidant attachment?” is to engage these core areas and narratives around desire, delight, safety, attunement, and curiosity. More specifically, it is to engage these core places where the need was not fully met by a parent or caregiver. To have an avoidant attachment is to ultimately avoid the need or desire for dependence on anyone. It is what it sounds like: avoiding attachment altogether. However, the avoidance doesn’t simply end there. People with an avoidant attachment style have learned over time to make themselves distant from their own emotions, wants, and desires. As we will see in this article, this behavior is not random. Meaning, the process of avoiding attachment has been shaped, molded, and formed through repeated interactions. It is a narrative embedded in a person’s beliefs about themselves and about how they navigate wanting intimacy in their relationships. And this is the narrative: “I am alone and on my own. I cannot depend on anyone to meet my needs.” It is an embodied narrative of deep loneliness, despair, and a longing to be seen and known. It is an internal state that is marked by abandonment and suppressed desire which can be traced back to childhood. How it comes about As we develop from infancy to childhood and into adulthood, we start in a vulnerable place. [...]

Comments Off

What Does it Mean to Receive Trauma-Informed Care?

What Does it Mean to Receive Trauma-Informed Care?

Haley Jansen, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:27:48+00:00October 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

A person who experiences trauma has a hard time getting the help needed due to the alteration of their ability to recover from the event. Trauma is not the same for all people, so there is no one way to approach the healing process. Receiving safe healthcare for trauma starts with the ability of the caregiver to understand that trauma can impact a person’s ability to engage in treatment. This is the basis of trauma-informed care. What is trauma-informed care? Trauma-informed care is the practice of universal precautions for trauma. Just like the universal precautions for pathogens, trauma-informed care is a way to implement policies that will prevent the possibility of re-traumatization for some individuals. This type of care will promote an awareness of having a safe environment for those who struggle with trauma-induced health issues. Trauma-informed care focuses on reducing further harm and opens the door to healing. A trauma-informed approach adopts the thought process of having a complete picture of the person’s life to provide comprehensive and effective treatment. This practice will lead to an improvement in individual engagement. When the individual engages in treatment there is a higher likelihood of a positive outcome. This can also help reduce the cost of gaining effective health care. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wing you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. – Psalm 91:4-6, NIV Why is trauma-informed care important? When it comes to understanding the effect of trauma, many people cannot fathom why some individuals have reacted in specific ways to a traumatic event. The common thought is [...]

Comments Off

Symptoms of OCD and How Christian Counseling Can Help

Symptoms of OCD and How Christian Counseling Can Help

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:28:12+00:00October 15th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental health condition that involves repetitive, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that are relieved by repetitive rituals (compulsions) that appease the discomfort of the behavior. As the symptoms of OCD become more pronounced, the pattern of behavior can become further engrained and feel uncontrollable, causing much distress to the individual, as well as their loved ones who witness the struggle. At the heart of OCD lies deep-seated anxiety, which can be treated with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. However, Christian counseling offers an additional tool. By reminding individuals that the symptoms of OCD are not beyond the sovereignty of Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit, a person can experience the renewal of their thought patterns. Common symptoms of OCD OCD is sometimes a term used in jest to describe someone who is extremely neat and organized, or who maintains a high level of personal hygiene. While symptoms of OCD can certainly manifest in this way, there are other ways in which compulsions are displayed. Researchers have defined the behaviors as falling into six primary categories. These include: A focus on cleanliness This compulsion is rooted in a fear of contamination. It leads an individual to be intensely focused on avoiding contact with germs, dirt, viruses, or bodily fluids. They may have to wash their hands several times a day, wipe down every surface touched multiple times, and avoid social contact because of what illnesses it might lead to. Individuals who show these symptoms of OCD are completely gripped by a debilitating fear that intrudes on their ability to function normally in society. Order and sequencing Some with OCD have an overwhelming urge to order objects in a certain way to bring about exactness and symmetry. If something is misplaced, it will cause anxiety, until it [...]

Comments Off

Possible Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Children

Possible Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Children

Jane Zerabruk, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:28:52+00:00October 3rd, 2024|Bipolar Disorder, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Naughtiness, rebellion, tantrums, and outbursts are all things every parent knows to expect in a child, but these can also be signs of bipolar disorder in children. Although it is quite rare, bipolar disorder can also occur in younger children, causing extreme personality shifts ranging from emotional highs to depressing lows. Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, more commonly develops in older teenagers and young adults, but it has been known to appear in children as young as six. The diagnosis of bipolar disorder is somewhat controversial, with some experts believing it is rare and being overdiagnosed, while others believe the opposite is true. While it is not easy to diagnose in children, there is now enough study in this field that proves that early recognition and professional help are crucial. This article has been written to help every parent have a basic awareness and understanding of: Bipolar disorder in children. Symptoms of bipolar disorder. Causes of bipolar disorder in children. Understanding bipolar disorder in children The term bipolar in its most basic form means having two poles or directly opposite extremities. For example, in physics, the Earth is considered bipolar due to its north and south poles. In a mental health context, this definition also applies because bipolar disorder refers to a condition characterized by mood and behavior extremes. These extremes oscillate between two different states known as manic and depressive states. In manic episodes, individuals experience extreme excitement, hopefulness, irritability, restlessness, rapid speech, and increased energy. They may set unrealistic goals and exhibit high-risk behaviors. In depressive phases, individuals feel sadness, hopelessness, guilt, and loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities. Sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and suicidal thoughts may also occur. Bipolar disorder in children is characterized by significant irritability, mood swings, and other symptoms. [...]

Comments Off

How Do Different Attachment Styles Show Up in the World?

How Do Different Attachment Styles Show Up in the World?

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:27:18+00:00September 28th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you are currently sitting at your laptop or reading this on your phone, then you are likely asking yourself the following questions: “What is my attachment style?”, “How does my attachment style show up in the world?”, “What are the different attachment styles?”, or “Why is attachment important?” If that’s you, welcome. In the field of psychology, “” is widely understood as being “the emotional-relational bond created between a parent and child during the first few years of the child’s life.” This bond is characterized by and observed through proximity-seeking behavior from the child toward the parent, and from the parent toward the child. An attachment is formed via the repeated cycles of the child seeking connection with his or her parent, and the parent’s ability to respond to the child’s emotional needs appropriately. As these cycles are repeated, the behavior becomes ingrained as the child’s way of understanding how emotional connections and relationships happen in the world. Through the lens of attachment, the ultimate goal of the child is to establish and maintain an emotional connection with his or her parent. Emotional connection for the child means a felt sense of safety in the relationship, an understanding that emotional needs will get met, and an understanding that if the relationship is ruptured in any way repair is possible. Attachment is the primary way that a child connects with his or her parents. This connection is not simply a want or desire, but a biological need to survive. Yes, we are biologically driven to attach to others to survive. We cannot escape it. When we perceive threat or danger, we are hard-wired to seek protection from – and maintain proximity to – someone who will be there for us, and who truly knows us. It is this connection [...]

Comments Off

Understanding Types of Adult ADHD Therapy

Understanding Types of Adult ADHD Therapy

Miranda Otsuka, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:28:23+00:00September 24th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Most of the time ADHD is diagnosed in children, but there are instances where ADHD isn’t diagnosed until a person is an adult. As the person ages the symptoms can change and often add stress to daily life. Those diagnosed with ADHD as an adult frequently prefer to use therapy for treatment rather than medication. This treatment plan involves learning how to manage and cope with the symptoms of ADHD. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. – John 14:27, ESV Depending on the symptoms you have as an adult with ADHD various strategies can help with managing symptoms that can disrupt everyday life. Common symptoms of ADHD in adults The symptoms of adult ADHD are not much different from those of children. One of the differences is that as an adult it is easier to describe the symptoms. Predominantly inattentive presentation, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive presentation, and combined presentation are the three ADHD types. The following symptoms are found in these types of ADHD in adulthood. Difficulty staying focused on tasks. Disorganization. Losing things. Overlooking details in work or other activities. Fidgeting. Talking excessively. Interrupting conversations. Making a noise while working. Highly distracted by external stimuli. Difficulty listening. Failing to follow through on instructions. Avoiding tasks that require mental effort. Leaving their seat at inappropriate times. Moving as if they are driven by a motor. Blurting out answers. Types of ADHD therapy for adults Therapy for adults with ADHD involves counseling that will promote an understanding of the disorder and what skills are needed to create successful strategies for coping. The techniques and methods used in counseling will help with impulsive behavior, problem-solving skills, self-esteem [...]

Comments Off

ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

Jane Zerabruk, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:29:05+00:00September 18th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Children with ADHD typically have struggles with anger. This isn’t the typical anger that is noted in normal child behavior as they grow and test boundaries. This anger is defiant, aggressive, and sometimes violent. How do we help children with ADHD? The most common answer to this question is seeking medication management. The second common treatment suggested is psychotherapy. As a believer, it is wise to seek a Christian professional who uses Scripture and faith-based treatment to help you understand ADHD anger. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6, ESV What is the connection between ADHD and anger? Understanding the why behind ADHD and anger begins with understanding ADHD. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopment issue that affects the way a child thinks and behaves. Anger is not an official symptom of ADHD, but it is often connected because of the feelings of frustration toward unaddressed or unresolved symptoms of ADHD. The common symptoms of ADHD are inattentiveness, impulsivity, and or hyperactivity. Disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse are also connected with ADHD. These disorders can all introduce or worsen anger becoming the behavior pattern of a child with ADHD. Not being able to regulate emotions makes it challenging for a child with ADHD to cultivate healthy peer relationships, enjoy family life, and have positive academic performance. Anger is a natural emotional response, but in children with ADHD, the challenges combined with feelings of frustration, anxiousness or helplessness can create a wave of intense anger. Typical behavior related to ADHD anger Being able to recognize the typical behavior related to ADHD anger is the first step in helping your child learn to regulate emotions. By identifying the [...]

Comments Off

How to Navigate Life After Trauma

How to Navigate Life After Trauma

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T11:36:20+00:00September 12th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma is an emotional wound caused by a major, unexpected event that threatens a person’s life or well-being. When our body feels threatened, it will automatically produce cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that aid a person in facing the threat in front of them. The body’s response can be any of the following in the face of danger and threat. Flight – This response usually occurs when a person feels that the only way to protect themselves is to run. This can mean physically running from the threat itself or stepping away from a deeply upsetting and hurtful conversation. It is physically removing oneself from danger and looking for a safer place, either to hide or regroup. Fight – Fighting means a person protects themselves by fighting their way out of danger. This can mean they will struggle, confront, protest, or physically fight whatever danger they are facing. Flop – This is when a person sees compliance as their only form of protection. They will do whatever they are asked to do, in the hope that they will be spared from danger. They will not struggle or protest, they will present themselves as non-threatening to make it through a dangerous ordeal. Fawn – Fawn is a little different from flop. This is when someone goes out of their way to please the person who is hurting them to be in their good graces. This can happen in domestic violence situations where the partner in danger will pacify the abusive partner by doing those things they know will please him or her. Children also do this with abusive parents. They will try to “be good” so they are not hurt by them. Freeze – This is when a situation is so severe that the person will literally freeze and be rendered almost [...]

Comments Off

Helping Your Loved One When They’re Dealing With Depression

Helping Your Loved One When They’re Dealing With Depression

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:30:56+00:00August 14th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you love someone, one of the most difficult experiences is to see them in pain and not have the ability to help them through it. We want nothing but the best for our loved ones, and when they are struggling, it’s painful in a way that’s hard to describe. One of the struggles that a loved one can go through is depression. The good news is that there is a lot that you can do to come alongside your loved one when they are dealing with depression. Some basic facts concerning depression One of the most important things that you can do to journey well with your loved one is to understand what depression is, and how it affects a person. Depression is a common but serious mood disorder that affects a person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. It affects how they handle everyday activities such as sleeping, working, eating, or interacting with others. When a person is feeling depressed, they’re not just sad, or going through a phase. Depression affects how they think and feel, and it’s not something that will simply go away on its own, nor is it a condition that a person can overcome by applying themselves and having positive thoughts. It’s important to know this so that you don’t get frustrated or assume that your loved one is being stubborn or lax. According to Mental Health America, major depression, which is what most people mean when they talk about depression, is one of the most common mental health disorders and affects more than 8% (21 million) of American adults each year, and around 15% (3.7 million) of young people aged 12-17. Anyone, regardless of their socio-economic status, gender, age, ethnicity, or race, can be affected by depression. When a person is depressed, it can [...]

Comments Off

It’s More Than Sweet Talk: 9 Tips for Healthy Communication in Marriage

It’s More Than Sweet Talk: 9 Tips for Healthy Communication in Marriage

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:33:04+00:00August 8th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the biggest tools for having a long-lasting marriage is the tool of communication. Understanding how to talk to your spouse is the key to creating a relationship that works to overcome any situation. Communication in marriage is not something that just happens. It takes a willingness to listen before speaking. God’s Word leads us in how to be good communicators in our marriage. It is up to us to apply those instructions. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. – Ephesians 4:29, NIV Communication is not just about words. It also can be exhibited in your actions. That is why it is important to make sure your actions reflect the love you have for your spouse. When does communication affect marriage? This may seem like a needless question, but the reality is many people are not familiar with when communication affects their marriage. They may not realize that what they have said was hurtful because they were just joking. All too often people harmlessly say things not knowing how their spouse will react to what is said. Understanding how communication in marriage creates a partnership will help you learn to monitor what you say before you say it. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1, NIV When there are unspoken expectations It can be wonderful when we know what each other is thinking. Then there are those times when we don’t realize that others don’t have a clue what we are thinking. When this happens, we find that we have set an expectation for an answer or an action that our spouse doesn’t realize [...]

Comments Off

Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

CONTACT INFO

Greenlake Christian Counseling

ABOUT US