Professional Development Archives | Green Lake Christian Counseling

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:46:40+00:00May 30th, 2024|Anger Issues, Family Counseling, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Psychological Testing, Relationship Issues|

Healthy relationships consist of equal respect and honor. But sometimes, we are not clear on our expectations at the beginning of a relationship, which can cause issues later. Creating healthy boundaries in relationships lets your significant other know what you need and feel comfortable doing. If you started dating your spouse at a very young age before you knew yourself, setting boundaries now can feel awkward. As a result, your spouse may feel as if you are pushing them away. In this case, you may want to recruit the help of a couples counselor. What are Boundaries in Relationships? Boundaries in relationships are necessary to maintain independence and self-reliance. However, when boundaries become blurred, the give-or-take aspect of the relationship is no longer balanced. For example, if you don’t like your spouse to show public displays of affection, but he continues to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, you will eventually withdraw from your spouse or have an argument. However, you could have avoided a fight if you had discussed how you felt about public touching including what he wants and what makes you uncomfortable. Setting clear boundaries at the beginning of a relationship is recommended, but it is never too late to voice your needs and wants. This also means that you should consider your spouse’s needs and wants. For example, if you like to hold hands in public, but your spouse does not can you respect his wishes? A counselor can help you draw boundaries in relationships. You can set healthy boundaries for more than just the physical aspect of your relationship. The emotional, mental, material, and sexual elements are all areas you should be clear on what you will allow and the non-negotiable things that are deal breakers in your eyes. Examples of Boundaries in Relationships [...]

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Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:47:24+00:00March 8th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Everyone feels insecure now and again. It could happen before a big event or a presentation at work, starting a new job, or entering a room full of strangers. We can feel insecure after we make a mistake. We might not feel assured in raising our children, interacting with our partners, or in our vocation. For some of us, feeling insecure is how we feel most of the time. Insecure feelings may permeate much of our daily activities and relationships. At times, we might even feel like we never fit into any situation or like we have “imposter” stamped on our foreheads. We see how everyone else does things better, faster, and smarter. We never believe that what we do, or who we are, is enough. We spend our days rebuking our decisions, questioning if we have done enough, and feeling like the least qualified person in every room. We might feel afraid to put ourselves out there in relationships because the amount of insecurity we experience inhibits us from taking risks or being vulnerable. Feeling insecure and anxious Insecurity is something we can feel in big or small ways. It can be related to how we see ourselves, how we experience our relationships, and how we show up in the working or productive parts of our lives. It can force us to pull back from relationships, say no to opportunities we would love to accept, and live in regret. Feeling insecure makes us retreat further into ourselves, where we often don’t like what we find there either. Constantly feeling insecure can lead to anxiety. We scan the horizon, cultivate the worst case in our heads, and wait for the other shoe to drop. When we feel insecure about who we are and our choices, we often feel anxious [...]

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Sneaky Self-Destructive Habits to Eliminate from Your Life

Sneaky Self-Destructive Habits to Eliminate from Your Life

Angela Yoon, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:31:39+00:00January 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

We all have things we do in our life that don’t serve us well. Sometimes they are big, obvious things and other times they are seemingly insignificant. Even the things that seem small and insignificant can have a major impact on your well-being. Whether they are big or small, self-destructive habits can wreak havoc. For many people, these habits will seem benign, and we wonder if they make that much of a difference. In reality, doing these things once in a while may not cause any issues. The problem comes when these little actions become habits. Engaging in these things repetitively is what causes changes in how we feel, what we think, and even how we interact with people. As you read through these habits, thoughtfully consider whether they characterize your life. Just because they are on the list doesn’t mean these are inherently bad things. Consider each one and ask yourself these questions: Do I do this? How often? How do I feel when I engage in this? How does the idea of eliminating this feel? Each of these questions gives insight into whether it is a habit in your life and how self-destructive it may be for you. The last question about eliminating the habit can provide a lot of insight. If the idea of eliminating the behavior feels uncomfortable, difficult, or scary, chances are it is a deeply ingrained habit that is not serving you well. Self-destructive habits to avoid. Consider each of these sneaky self-destructive habits and the role they play in your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Endless scrolling. Phones have made it so easy to get information, connect with people, get work done, and be entertained. The danger, however, is that people spend too much time scrolling. Seemingly endless scrolling without purpose [...]

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Restarting Your Life

Restarting Your Life

Dr. Gary Bell, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:36:58+00:00July 5th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Something isn’t right. It could be the job, the place you live, the relationship you are in, or the hobbies that consume your time. Day in and day out, you just don’t feel happy. A research report found that as many as one out of every three people are unhappy most of the time. Unfortunately, many people just live with their unhappiness. It’s often the easiest route of least resistance to blame others, or your life conditions, or the weather, or the politicians, or the tax code, or your public school teacher who didn’t encourage or engage you enough. The problems you may have or could have are probably endless. Your unhappiness is real. Restarting your life can happen in certain areas, attitudes, perspectives, work, and even a complete cathartic change of life. To be a person with the courage to restart you must begin with healthy and to take leaps of faith without all the answers. It is ultimately the ability to believe in yourself and a belief that God is in control. Restarting your life can happen in a day, over time, or anywhere in-between. Life calls for us to adapt. We are dependent on each other which constantly shifts priorities and views. Every day is a new start. It is making yourself believe the truth is the hard part. When we arrive at a dead-end, we know we have no choice but to train our minds to do what’s best for ourselves – develop new habits, and over time some of these habits become as ingrained as the self-defeating choices we’d previously made. The world constantly changes. The trick is to make change work for you, not against you. The people we are most emotionally invested in are our significant others, friends, family members, children, and beyond that [...]

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