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Restarting Your Life

Restarting Your Life

Dr. Gary Bell, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:36:58+00:00July 5th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Something isn’t right. It could be the job, the place you live, the relationship you are in, or the hobbies that consume your time. Day in and day out, you just don’t feel happy. A research report found that as many as one out of every three people are unhappy most of the time. Unfortunately, many people just live with their unhappiness. It’s often the easiest route of least resistance to blame others, or your life conditions, or the weather, or the politicians, or the tax code, or your public school teacher who didn’t encourage or engage you enough. The problems you may have or could have are probably endless. Your unhappiness is real. Restarting your life can happen in certain areas, attitudes, perspectives, work, and even a complete cathartic change of life. To be a person with the courage to restart you must begin with healthy and to take leaps of faith without all the answers. It is ultimately the ability to believe in yourself and a belief that God is in control. Restarting your life can happen in a day, over time, or anywhere in-between. Life calls for us to adapt. We are dependent on each other which constantly shifts priorities and views. Every day is a new start. It is making yourself believe the truth is the hard part. When we arrive at a dead-end, we know we have no choice but to train our minds to do what’s best for ourselves – develop new habits, and over time some of these habits become as ingrained as the self-defeating choices we’d previously made. The world constantly changes. The trick is to make change work for you, not against you. The people we are most emotionally invested in are our significant others, friends, family members, children, and beyond that [...]

Hope in the Dark: A Reflection on Coronavirus and Easter

Lisa Velin, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:38:01+00:00July 5th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Are you struggling to find hope in the dark? If so, I can relate. The day before Easter this year, I awoke at 6:30 with a sense of urgency. I sensed stirrings deep within my soul. I told my husband I needed to walk and process. Something was rising to the surface that I needed to heed . . . Off I walked, not quickly, but purposefully to nearby Green Lake. As I methodically moved my feet, one after the other, my heart was just as steady and focused. As my feet dodged goose droppings and tree roots, my eyes scanned the scenery. The atmosphere was dark, still, and silent. The sky opened with occasional and dramatic sun peeks through the moving clouds. Even the birds seemed subdued. I was meditating on Good Friday and considering the utter desolation Jesus’ followers must have experienced on the day between Jesus' death and resurrection. Even though Jesus had told them that He would come back, they had not understood nor had they expected Him to die in the way that He did. They were most likely traumatized, as evidenced by the way many of them hunkered down in fear and sadness in that upper room. They had watched their King die a cruel and slow death. Jesus had died. How disoriented and confused, and maybe still in shock, they were on the day after His death. I feel nauseous even as I think about it. I have lost two significant people in my life -- one I was with the moment she passed. As she took her last breaths, what was about five minutes seemed like hours. It was so excruciating to watch, even with the hope I will see her in heaven. I can't imagine what this like for the [...]

Resentment in Relationships: The Endless Cost

Dr. Gary Bell, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:37:10+00:00June 28th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resenting somebody is not as simple as disliking them or finding them annoying; rather, it's a feeling that is related to the repetition of painful patterns relating to unaddressed difficulties. Yep, I know that may sound hideously complex, but it's a relatively simple concept once you unpack it. And you should take the time to unpack it – because the truth is that resenting your partner (even if you don't realize that you're doing it) is not great for your love life. But there is a bright side: Your relationship is not doomed if you realize that you've been feeling resentful; you can notice and resolve your resentment. Make a list of all your resentments and communicate them to your partner. Also, come to the conversation with what solutions would look like. You must explore resentment because it impacts every area of your relationship and does not allow both of you to thrive. They must be revealed and discussed constructively with action steps. This show comes with many of the tools to do this. So what is to be done if you’ve been in a relationship for some time, and hurts have built up and led to resentment and unresolved anger and pain? Is there hope for empathy to regain a foothold in your relationship, so that true intimacy can begin flourishing once again? What is the way forward when it feels like there is too much toxic water under the bridge, too much wreckage, to find your way back to a loving relationship? When the past is a minefield, can the present become peaceful? If there’s hope for empathy to re-emerge in your relationship, even when resentment abounds, the answer is: probably. But if you asked me whether there are ways to try and rebuild the empathic bond in your relationship, I would answer with [...]

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