How Do Different Attachment Styles Show Up in the World?
If you are currently sitting at your laptop or reading this on your phone, then you are likely asking yourself the following questions: “What is my attachment style?”, “How does my attachment style show up in the world?”, “What are the different attachment styles?”, or “Why is attachment important?” If that’s you, welcome. In the field of psychology, “” is widely understood as being “the emotional-relational bond created between a parent and child during the first few years of the child’s life.” This bond is characterized by and observed through proximity-seeking behavior from the child toward the parent, and from the parent toward the child. An attachment is formed via the repeated cycles of the child seeking connection with his or her parent, and the parent’s ability to respond to the child’s emotional needs appropriately. As these cycles are repeated, the behavior becomes ingrained as the child’s way of understanding how emotional connections and relationships happen in the world. Through the lens of attachment, the ultimate goal of the child is to establish and maintain an emotional connection with his or her parent. Emotional connection for the child means a felt sense of safety in the relationship, an understanding that emotional needs will get met, and an understanding that if the relationship is ruptured in any way repair is possible. Attachment is the primary way that a child connects with his or her parents. This connection is not simply a want or desire, but a biological need to survive. Yes, we are biologically driven to attach to others to survive. We cannot escape it. When we perceive threat or danger, we are hard-wired to seek protection from – and maintain proximity to – someone who will be there for us, and who truly knows us. It is this connection [...]
