Anger Issues Archives | Green Lake Christian Counseling

Fury Within: Understanding Intense Anger

Fury Within: Understanding Intense Anger

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2025-03-14T07:00:35+00:00March 14th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Pornography Addiction|

What have you been taught about anger? Perhaps anger has been described to you as a monster that lives on the inside. Somewhere deep down where nobody else is supposed to see it: a monster that rears its head when stress or anxiety are at their peak, when a friend or relative disrespects you in front of others, or when you are deeply frustrated that you’re still struggling with the same issue despite asking God numerous times to take it away. Maybe you have come to picture anger as something you’re supposed to keep in a tightly sealed bottle. A bottle kept far away from sunlight and other people out of fear that if you begin to lift the lid, it could wreak havoc in your own heart and your relationships. Do you ever feel like you have a monster living on the inside? What do you do when you sense that monster coming to the surface? Anger is an incredibly valuable emotion. It communicates to us that there is a need for something to move or for something to change in us and our surroundings. It tells us when a personal boundary has been crossed as well as when we have experienced a sense of injustice. In most instances, our bodies produce physical symptoms in response to feeling intense anger. For example, you’re eating dinner with your family, and your father begins to openly criticize you for your performance in your most recent baseball game. As he speaks, your jaw starts to clench, your shoulders start to tighten, and you want to yell at him to stop. Or you’re out with a group of friends and one of them starts bad-mouthing a friend of yours who isn’t present. Your stomach begins to tighten, your brow furrows, your face [...]

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ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

Jane Zerabruk, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:29:05+00:00September 18th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Children with ADHD typically have struggles with anger. This isn’t the typical anger that is noted in normal child behavior as they grow and test boundaries. This anger is defiant, aggressive, and sometimes violent. How do we help children with ADHD? The most common answer to this question is seeking medication management. The second common treatment suggested is psychotherapy. As a believer, it is wise to seek a Christian professional who uses Scripture and faith-based treatment to help you understand ADHD anger. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6, ESV What is the connection between ADHD and anger? Understanding the why behind ADHD and anger begins with understanding ADHD. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopment issue that affects the way a child thinks and behaves. Anger is not an official symptom of ADHD, but it is often connected because of the feelings of frustration toward unaddressed or unresolved symptoms of ADHD. The common symptoms of ADHD are inattentiveness, impulsivity, and or hyperactivity. Disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse are also connected with ADHD. These disorders can all introduce or worsen anger becoming the behavior pattern of a child with ADHD. Not being able to regulate emotions makes it challenging for a child with ADHD to cultivate healthy peer relationships, enjoy family life, and have positive academic performance. Anger is a natural emotional response, but in children with ADHD, the challenges combined with feelings of frustration, anxiousness or helplessness can create a wave of intense anger. Typical behavior related to ADHD anger Being able to recognize the typical behavior related to ADHD anger is the first step in helping your child learn to regulate emotions. By identifying the [...]

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Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-11-27T12:46:40+00:00May 30th, 2024|Anger Issues, Family Counseling, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Psychological Testing, Relationship Issues|

Healthy relationships consist of equal respect and honor. But sometimes, we are not clear on our expectations at the beginning of a relationship, which can cause issues later. Creating healthy boundaries in relationships lets your significant other know what you need and feel comfortable doing. If you started dating your spouse at a very young age before you knew yourself, setting boundaries now can feel awkward. As a result, your spouse may feel as if you are pushing them away. In this case, you may want to recruit the help of a couples counselor. What are Boundaries in Relationships? Boundaries in relationships are necessary to maintain independence and self-reliance. However, when boundaries become blurred, the give-or-take aspect of the relationship is no longer balanced. For example, if you don’t like your spouse to show public displays of affection, but he continues to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, you will eventually withdraw from your spouse or have an argument. However, you could have avoided a fight if you had discussed how you felt about public touching including what he wants and what makes you uncomfortable. Setting clear boundaries at the beginning of a relationship is recommended, but it is never too late to voice your needs and wants. This also means that you should consider your spouse’s needs and wants. For example, if you like to hold hands in public, but your spouse does not can you respect his wishes? A counselor can help you draw boundaries in relationships. You can set healthy boundaries for more than just the physical aspect of your relationship. The emotional, mental, material, and sexual elements are all areas you should be clear on what you will allow and the non-negotiable things that are deal breakers in your eyes. Examples of Boundaries in Relationships [...]

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Anger in the Bible: Help and Healing for Anger Issues

Anger in the Bible: Help and Healing for Anger Issues

Meluleki Ncube, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:33:50+00:00February 6th, 2024|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If we ask the question, “What does the Bible say about anger?” we might first be thinking about anger as a negative thing, and in many cases, it is. It doesn’t take much to think of an example of sinful anger. But it might be helpful to think of anger as simply one of a range of human emotions. It can be healthy or unhealthy, righteous or sinful, but it can also be redeemed and used by God for good. Human emotions are no stranger to God. He created our capacity to experience them, and Jesus experienced emotions when he walked the earth, including grief (John 11:35), joy (John 15:11), and anger (John 2:15-16). As he was perfect in every way, we can be confident that emotions, including anger, are part of being human and are not automatically wrong. Emotions themselves are neutral. Our thoughts and actions, how we respond to those emotions, determine whether we will act out our feelings in a godly or ungodly manner. We’ve all witnessed the destructive force of sinful anger, whether in our own lives or that of others. To take it a step further, we can all acknowledge that sinful anger is one of the greatest forces of destruction in the world. Along with power, it’s a deadly and evil thing that can be used to harm, abuse, and destroy people, relationships, and even entire countries. But anger starts in the same place every other human emotion springs from; the heart. So, to get to the root of destructive anger, we must start with the heart. Addressing anger issues, whether in a child or an adult, as soon as possible can allow us to get to the root quickly and begin to find another path that doesn’t cause destruction. If you’re interested in [...]

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Resentment in Relationships: The Endless Cost

Resentment in Relationships: The Endless Cost

Dr. Gary Bell, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:37:10+00:00June 28th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resenting somebody is not as simple as disliking them or finding them annoying; rather, it's a feeling that is related to the repetition of painful patterns relating to unaddressed difficulties. Yep, I know that may sound hideously complex, but it's a relatively simple concept once you unpack it. And you should take the time to unpack it – because the truth is that resenting your partner (even if you don't realize that you're doing it) is not great for your love life. But there is a bright side: Your relationship is not doomed if you realize that you've been feeling resentful; you can notice and resolve your resentment. Make a list of all your resentments and communicate them to your partner. Also, come to the conversation with what solutions would look like. You must explore resentment because it impacts every area of your relationship and does not allow both of you to thrive. They must be revealed and discussed constructively with action steps. This show comes with many of the tools to do this. So what is to be done if you’ve been in a relationship for some time, and hurts have built up and led to resentment and unresolved anger and pain? Is there hope for empathy to regain a foothold in your relationship, so that true intimacy can begin flourishing once again? What is the way forward when it feels like there is too much toxic water under the bridge, too much wreckage, to find your way back to a loving relationship? When the past is a minefield, can the present become peaceful? If there’s hope for empathy to re-emerge in your relationship, even when resentment abounds, the answer is: probably. But if you asked me whether there are ways to try and rebuild the empathic bond in your relationship, I would answer with [...]

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