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Left Behind: 8 Signs of Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Left Behind: 8 Signs of Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Noah Cordrey, Kate Motaung2024-12-11T05:53:27+00:00December 11th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

“Because separation is a clearcut and undeniable event, its effects on the child and the parent-child relationship were easier to document than more subtle influences of parental and familial interaction.” – Inge Bretherton reporting on John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s work with Attachment Theory As the quote above suggests, to experience abandonment implies a separation, specifically in the parent-child relationship, that is clear-cut and undeniable. To be abandoned leaves a specific kind of mark on the soul which points to a particular, distinguishable moment. More simply, if you have experienced abandonment, you will know it. To discuss the reality of being or feeling abandoned is to also talk about one’s attachment style – or style of relating – which has been first and foremost influenced by our relationships with our parents. Abandonment issues have everything to do with how we attach or don’t attach, relationally to others. In this article, we will look at eight signs or symptoms that point to underlying abandonment issues in relationships. 1. An Internal Struggle with Fear Insecurity Regarding Relationships In the realm of attachment, a child is looking to their parents to be seen, safe, soothed, and secure. At a fundamental level, the child is unable to provide these things for him/herself and must rely on their mother or father for such care. However, if the child’s parent or caregiver is unable to provide these things, this creates a state of internal panic for the child. The child learns that their caregiver is ultimately unreliable, and he/she must make a decision: “I will separate myself from my caregiver and get my needs met elsewhere”, or “I will adjust myself to mom or dad and care for their needs, in the hopes that once they’re ok I can then get my needs met.” From [...]

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10 Symptoms of Depression in Teens

10 Symptoms of Depression in Teens

Haley Jansen, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T11:31:01+00:00November 26th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

You would do anything for your children. Walk over hot coals? Check. Drive an hour one way to a ball game? Check. Stay by their side through the flu? Check. However, the symptoms of depression in teens can be subtle. Depression is not something that you can take from your child and shoulder the burden, as much as you may want to. Instead, it will be helpful if you are aware of the symptoms of depression in teens so you can seek help at the appropriate time. Depression in Families Depression can run in families. If you struggle with depression, your child has a higher likelihood of developing depression. Parents and siblings with a history of depression can “pass on” the mental condition to another child. Whether due to genetic or environmental factors, children or siblings of people with depression may develop stronger depressive episodes than their peers. Depression goes beyond simply feeling sad after a disappointment. Feeling and processing emotions like sadness, disappointment, and anger is normal. However, depression can last several weeks, months, or years. Symptoms of Depression in Teens Teenagers go through hormonal changes that can lead to moodiness, irritability, and social withdrawal. But when should you become concerned as a parent that your child’s behavior is more than just temperamental teenage behavior? Could it be symptoms of depression in teens instead? The following is a list of the most common symptoms of depression in teens. If your child displays these signs for more than two weeks, they may develop depression. Reach out to a counselor. If your teen engages in self-harm or makes comments about suicide or death, seek help immediately. Feelings of Sadness and Hopelessness Persistent sadness is a hallmark symptom of depression. Feelings of hopelessness, dread, and emptiness can accompany this sadness. These [...]

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Possible Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Children

Possible Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Children

Jane Zerabruk, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:28:52+00:00October 3rd, 2024|Bipolar Disorder, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Naughtiness, rebellion, tantrums, and outbursts are all things every parent knows to expect in a child, but these can also be signs of bipolar disorder in children. Although it is quite rare, bipolar disorder can also occur in younger children, causing extreme personality shifts ranging from emotional highs to depressing lows. Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, more commonly develops in older teenagers and young adults, but it has been known to appear in children as young as six. The diagnosis of bipolar disorder is somewhat controversial, with some experts believing it is rare and being overdiagnosed, while others believe the opposite is true. While it is not easy to diagnose in children, there is now enough study in this field that proves that early recognition and professional help are crucial. This article has been written to help every parent have a basic awareness and understanding of: Bipolar disorder in children. Symptoms of bipolar disorder. Causes of bipolar disorder in children. Understanding bipolar disorder in children The term bipolar in its most basic form means having two poles or directly opposite extremities. For example, in physics, the Earth is considered bipolar due to its north and south poles. In a mental health context, this definition also applies because bipolar disorder refers to a condition characterized by mood and behavior extremes. These extremes oscillate between two different states known as manic and depressive states. In manic episodes, individuals experience extreme excitement, hopefulness, irritability, restlessness, rapid speech, and increased energy. They may set unrealistic goals and exhibit high-risk behaviors. In depressive phases, individuals feel sadness, hopelessness, guilt, and loss of interest or pleasure in everyday activities. Sleep disturbances, appetite changes, and suicidal thoughts may also occur. Bipolar disorder in children is characterized by significant irritability, mood swings, and other symptoms. [...]

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ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

Jane Zerabruk, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:29:05+00:00September 18th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Children with ADHD typically have struggles with anger. This isn’t the typical anger that is noted in normal child behavior as they grow and test boundaries. This anger is defiant, aggressive, and sometimes violent. How do we help children with ADHD? The most common answer to this question is seeking medication management. The second common treatment suggested is psychotherapy. As a believer, it is wise to seek a Christian professional who uses Scripture and faith-based treatment to help you understand ADHD anger. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6, ESV What is the connection between ADHD and anger? Understanding the why behind ADHD and anger begins with understanding ADHD. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopment issue that affects the way a child thinks and behaves. Anger is not an official symptom of ADHD, but it is often connected because of the feelings of frustration toward unaddressed or unresolved symptoms of ADHD. The common symptoms of ADHD are inattentiveness, impulsivity, and or hyperactivity. Disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse are also connected with ADHD. These disorders can all introduce or worsen anger becoming the behavior pattern of a child with ADHD. Not being able to regulate emotions makes it challenging for a child with ADHD to cultivate healthy peer relationships, enjoy family life, and have positive academic performance. Anger is a natural emotional response, but in children with ADHD, the challenges combined with feelings of frustration, anxiousness or helplessness can create a wave of intense anger. Typical behavior related to ADHD anger Being able to recognize the typical behavior related to ADHD anger is the first step in helping your child learn to regulate emotions. By identifying the [...]

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Children of Divorce: How to Help Them Cope

Children of Divorce: How to Help Them Cope

Lisa Velin, Kate Motaung2024-11-14T12:37:48+00:00July 5th, 2022|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Divorce is hard. Sometimes in an effort to protect ourselves from the hurt and pain, we inadvertently dismiss what the children of divorce think or feel. Or, we believe them when they say they don’t want to talk about the divorce or that they don’t care. We want to believe that they will come out of this all right. The truth is that divorce affects every member of the family. It’s important to be open and honest with your child, but also watch out for any signs that they are having difficulty accepting the new living arrangements. If your child is having trouble, it might be time to enlist the help of a professional therapist. Speaking to Children of Divorce There can be multiple reasons why the communication breaks down between parents and children amid a divorce. It could be that talking about the divorce is too upsetting to the parent, so they simply tell their child in a brief statement about divorce. It could be that the child is hurt about the divorce but doesn’t want to admit it. Children of divorce sometimes shrug off the situation to keep their emotions at arm’s length. They may feel betrayed and decide that it is better to distance themselves to keep from getting hurt again. Other children may blame themselves for their parents’ inability to cohabitate. Whatever the reason, you can prevent miscommunication by talking openly to your child about the forthcoming changes before the separation, if possible. If you can, schedule a time when both parents can sit down with the child and explain the new arrangements. There is no need to go into detail about why the decision was made, but reiterate that both parents love the child. Of course, sitting down with the other parent before the [...]

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