Trauma

Left Behind: 8 Signs of Abandonment Issues in Relationships

, 2024-12-11T05:53:27+00:00December 11th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

“Because separation is a clearcut and undeniable event, its effects on the child and the parent-child relationship were easier to document than more subtle influences of parental and familial interaction.” – Inge Bretherton reporting on John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s work with Attachment Theory As the quote above suggests, to experience abandonment implies a separation, specifically in the parent-child relationship, that is clear-cut and undeniable. To be abandoned leaves a specific kind of mark on the soul which points to a particular, distinguishable moment. More simply, if you have experienced abandonment, you will know it. To discuss the reality of being or feeling abandoned is to also talk about one’s attachment style – or style of relating – which has been first and foremost influenced by our relationships with our parents. Abandonment issues have everything to do with how we attach or don’t attach, relationally to others. In this article, we will look at eight signs or symptoms that point to underlying abandonment issues in relationships. 1. An Internal Struggle with Fear Insecurity Regarding Relationships In the realm of attachment, a child is looking to their parents to be seen, safe, soothed, and secure. At a fundamental level, the child is unable to provide these things for him/herself and must rely on their mother or father for such care. However, if the child’s parent or caregiver is unable to provide these things, this creates a state of internal panic for the child. The child learns that their caregiver is ultimately unreliable, and he/she must make a decision: “I will separate myself from my caregiver and get my needs met elsewhere”, or “I will adjust myself to mom or dad and care for their needs, in the hopes that once they’re ok I can then get my needs met.” From [...]

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What is Insecure Avoidant Attachment?

, 2024-12-20T11:33:09+00:00October 22nd, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Take a moment to think back on yourself as a child. Think about your relationships with your parents or caregivers. What were they like? Did you feel safe and secure around them? Was your heart met with delight? Were your desires honored with curiosity and healthy discipline? Did they attune to you when you were upset or crying? Did they comfort you and bring you back to a calm or regulated place? Insecure-avoidant attachment defined To ask the question, “What is insecure-avoidant attachment?” is to engage these core areas and narratives around desire, delight, safety, attunement, and curiosity. More specifically, it is to engage these core places where the need was not fully met by a parent or caregiver. To have an avoidant attachment is to ultimately avoid the need or desire for dependence on anyone. It is what it sounds like: avoiding attachment altogether. However, the avoidance doesn’t simply end there. People with an avoidant attachment style have learned over time to make themselves distant from their own emotions, wants, and desires. As we will see in this article, this behavior is not random. Meaning, the process of avoiding attachment has been shaped, molded, and formed through repeated interactions. It is a narrative embedded in a person’s beliefs about themselves and about how they navigate wanting intimacy in their relationships. And this is the narrative: “I am alone and on my own. I cannot depend on anyone to meet my needs.” It is an embodied narrative of deep loneliness, despair, and a longing to be seen and known. It is an internal state that is marked by abandonment and suppressed desire which can be traced back to childhood. How it comes about As we develop from infancy to childhood and into adulthood, we start in a vulnerable place. [...]

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What Does it Mean to Receive Trauma-Informed Care?

, 2024-11-14T12:27:48+00:00October 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

A person who experiences trauma has a hard time getting the help needed due to the alteration of their ability to recover from the event. Trauma is not the same for all people, so there is no one way to approach the healing process. Receiving safe healthcare for trauma starts with the ability of the caregiver to understand that trauma can impact a person’s ability to engage in treatment. This is the basis of trauma-informed care. What is trauma-informed care? Trauma-informed care is the practice of universal precautions for trauma. Just like the universal precautions for pathogens, trauma-informed care is a way to implement policies that will prevent the possibility of re-traumatization for some individuals. This type of care will promote an awareness of having a safe environment for those who struggle with trauma-induced health issues. Trauma-informed care focuses on reducing further harm and opens the door to healing. A trauma-informed approach adopts the thought process of having a complete picture of the person’s life to provide comprehensive and effective treatment. This practice will lead to an improvement in individual engagement. When the individual engages in treatment there is a higher likelihood of a positive outcome. This can also help reduce the cost of gaining effective health care. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wing you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. – Psalm 91:4-6, NIV Why is trauma-informed care important? When it comes to understanding the effect of trauma, many people cannot fathom why some individuals have reacted in specific ways to a traumatic event. The common thought is [...]

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How to Navigate Life After Trauma

, 2024-12-20T11:36:20+00:00September 12th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma is an emotional wound caused by a major, unexpected event that threatens a person’s life or well-being. When our body feels threatened, it will automatically produce cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that aid a person in facing the threat in front of them. The body’s response can be any of the following in the face of danger and threat. Flight – This response usually occurs when a person feels that the only way to protect themselves is to run. This can mean physically running from the threat itself or stepping away from a deeply upsetting and hurtful conversation. It is physically removing oneself from danger and looking for a safer place, either to hide or regroup. Fight – Fighting means a person protects themselves by fighting their way out of danger. This can mean they will struggle, confront, protest, or physically fight whatever danger they are facing. Flop – This is when a person sees compliance as their only form of protection. They will do whatever they are asked to do, in the hope that they will be spared from danger. They will not struggle or protest, they will present themselves as non-threatening to make it through a dangerous ordeal. Fawn – Fawn is a little different from flop. This is when someone goes out of their way to please the person who is hurting them to be in their good graces. This can happen in domestic violence situations where the partner in danger will pacify the abusive partner by doing those things they know will please him or her. Children also do this with abusive parents. They will try to “be good” so they are not hurt by them. Freeze – This is when a situation is so severe that the person will literally freeze and be rendered almost [...]

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Treatment Options

, 2024-11-14T12:32:01+00:00December 19th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Traumatic events are unpredictable and devastating. They can happen any time and anywhere, leaving the people who experience them with significant struggles as they try to process and recover from the memories of the event. Some people are gradually able to come to terms with what happened, but others are not. People whose symptoms do not go away may be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Their symptoms may become so pervasive that they interfere with their ability to function in their day-to-day life. Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. – Michelle Rosenthal If you have been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, the good news is that it can be treated successfully. There are several effective forms of therapy that can help you regain control of your life and get it back on track. Evidence-based Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder treatment interventions. Evidence-based trauma-focused psychotherapies are considered to be the most effective PTSD treatment, and the first-line choice for people suffering from PTSD. Although they may use different techniques or a combination of them to help you process your memories of the trauma, the common goal is to diminish your anxiety, reduce avoidant behavior, and equip you with effective coping skills to manage your symptoms, handle stressful situations, and deal with any triggers that arise. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of talk therapy that focuses on the relationship between thoughts and behaviors. Its premise is that identifying and correcting the distorted thoughts that are at the root of your symptoms can lead to healthier ways of acting and an improved ability to control your emotions. Most PTSD treatment interventions are a form of cognitive behavioral therapy and fall under its umbrella. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT). Trauma-focused cognitive [...]

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