The Presence of Self-Contempt in Your Story

, 2025-05-31T09:28:47+00:00June 2nd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Addiction, Trauma|

In a previous article on shame and self-contempt, I provided a broad definition of self-contempt and gave a brief description of what it is and how it functions. If you haven’t given that article a read, I’d recommend it as I will be building on some already-established ideas about the reality of self-contempt. The goal is to narrow the focus and move our attention more specifically to self-contempt and how it shows up in the story of your life. As we explore this topic, I hope that you, the reader, will be more equipped to identify the presence of self-contempt in your own story without judgment. I hope that your curiosity will be stirred as you begin to consider questions such as, “How did I come to feel this way about myself?” “Why do I treat my body or my heart this way?” “What has shaped my beliefs about myself?” or “Is this how God views me?” In my interactions with clients and through my healing journey, I have found that self-contempt frequently resides in the subconscious realm of our awareness. This realm of our awareness is easily accessible. More often than not, things that reside in this area come to the surface without us being fully cognizant of them. This is to say that much of our self-contempt and what we believe about ourselves reside in a place that is accessible, just outside of our conscious awareness. Self-Contempt Defined In my previous article, I gave a somewhat wordy definition of self-contempt: “Self-contempt is to have contempt (the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn) or loathing for oneself and one’s actions. In other words, it is to have the feeling or belief that you, or a part of you, is worthless, [...]