Can you imagine what it would feel like to arrive on an alien planet, and to begin experiencing things you’d never even known existed? New sights, sensations, and tastes would be awakened. Consider how your body might feel in a different atmosphere with fewer or greater constraints than ours. The other question you’d face would be describing what you’re experiencing to yourself and others.
Science fiction can help us imagine new worlds and understand ourselves better. In one sense, we don’t have to leave this planet to have strange experiences we struggle to understand or explain. Ask most teenagers, and you may find that experiencing the many changes that come with growing up can feel like a wild adventure to uncharted worlds.
The good news is that while things seem new, different, and possibly terrifying for a teen experiencing all the changes that come with that, others have gone before them. There is guidance and support available to better understand these various changes and navigate them successfully. There are healthy and effective options available to address teenage problems that commonly crop up.
The Challenge of the Teen Years
What does it feel like to be a teen in the 21st Century? In many ways, teens today need to face things other generations never had to, so it’s new territory for the teens and their parents or caregivers. In other ways, teenage problems today are the same struggles that others have faced for generations; it’s just that the details and context change, but the human heart and our issues are much the same, with nothing new under the sun.
The teen years can be challenging because they herald many different changes. Some of these changes include their bodies changing. For some kids, puberty starts earlier than their peers, which can itself be a source of distress, just as being a late bloomer can also cause distress or anxiety. Teens become more socially aware of themselves, their peers, and hierarchies, making them sensitive to being too different from others. Teenagers often long to fit in, to belong.
In addition to navigating changes in their bodies, teens must also figure out who they are. This is a profound time of self-discovery and asserting newfound independence. These impulses may clash with parents’ desires to shelter and protect their children. Communication is key at this point, but it’s difficult because the teen may not have the emotional maturity or clarity to articulate precisely what they want and why, potentially causing conflict.
Human beings have always struggled with the question of who we are and what our purpose is. Even when this is answered through Scripture, there are still many fine details that need to be filled in, and it takes time to figure out the answers. For teens, those questions of identity and purpose may be acutely distressing. Change can be unsettling, calling into question what you thought you knew, and teens have to begin owning their responses to these questions.
What are some common teenage problems?
The teen years can be an amazing time of growth as they come to own their values, beliefs, and thoughts about themselves and everything else. These years will define them in profound ways, shaping their lives for years to come. Some of these challenges can undermine their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Common teenage problems include the following:
Social media More than previous generations, teens in our time must contend with the omnipresence of social media. Many teens spend several hours online, and their online presence impacts their relationships in real life. Social media can exacerbate peer pressure and is often the main venue for bullying and cyberbullying. Other issues, such as constant comparisons with others and isolation, can come with social media.
Online safety The digital age has created concerns that didn’t exist. Teens have to learn to be safe online and figure out how to handle realities like sexting, online harassment, cyberstalking, unsafe viral challenges and trends, and more.
Mental health concerns Certain concerns are prevalent among teens, and anxiety and depression are the most common.
Body image and self-esteem One of the side effects of social media, constant targeted advertising, and content geared toward teens is that it sets unrealistic expectations about what their lives and bodies should look like. Making constant comparisons with others can lead to concerns like body image issues, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.
Substance abuse Among teens, another set of concerns is drinking, smoking, and substance abuse. Vaping and the positive representations of drug use on social platforms and media can also make it attractive, increasing the peer pressure to use these substances.
Academic stress Teens also face huge pressures and expectations to succeed, not only academically, but also in sports and other extracurricular activities. Crafting the perfect resume for colleges can start early, and this can lead to stress, anxiety, and decreased motivation to work diligently.
Relationship issues The teen years open up the world of relationships in ways they may not have experienced earlier. The teen years may mean entering the world of romantic relationships with all their angst and frustrations, as well as navigating peer pressure and relationships. Some of the relationship issues may be centered around family dynamics, and all this may lead to emotional distress and conflict in their lives.
Teens face these teenage problems and other issues that can make life challenging. It’s not easy making sense of these things that can vex even the adults in their lives. However, there is support available. A teen doesn’t have to walk alone or try to make sense of things on their own.
Effective Ways to Address Teenage Problems
When you face problems, there are always two broad ways to address them – some are unhealthy and cause more problems in the short-term as well as the long run, while others are effective and lead to positive progress.
For teens and the people who love them, listed below are a few healthy, effective, and simple ways to address teenage problems:
Communication and connection Teens need to have their emotions and thoughts validated, even if, as their parent or caregiver, you don’t agree with their perspective. Giving your teen your undivided attention and being fully engaged in the conversation helps them to feel listened to and can aid in creating a connection. Asking them open-ended questions can encourage more meaningful sharing.
Emotional support and wellness Good communication is one part of being present in your teen’s life and helping them face challenges well. Healthy and effective communication allows you to provide emotional support and suggest activities to promote wellness. Practices such as mindfulness, doing regular exercise, and having healthy sleeping and eating habits make a world of difference in their well-being.
Building resilience and life skills You can also help your teen by encouraging them to think critically and develop their problem-solving skills. Instead of providing answers, help them produce their own solutions to problems and walk through their reasoning with them, for instance. You can also help your teen learn how to set and accomplish goals and model self-care and its importance.
Perhaps you can tackle a project with them, like starting a business, fixing up a car, or getting a small community project up and running. The process of learning something new and working through problems that come up can provide invaluable wisdom and experience for them, stretching their skills and growing their ability to trust themselves and their decision-making.
Working with technology and social media Things like online safety, how to sift the information you encounter online, and understanding the unreality of social media are all skills that can be taught. It takes time and intentionality to teach these skills. It’s also important to set clear boundaries for the use of technology, talk about safety, and carve out space for offline activities to reduce dependence on their devices.
Seeking additional support As a parent, you can educate yourself and help your teen understand the value of self-care and how mental health professionals can help. There are many resources available online, including support groups, hotlines, and other readily available resources to deal with many health concerns.
You can also encourage your teen to seek professional help if they are struggling to cope. Additionally, having other trusted adults in your teen’s life can be incredibly beneficial. Sports coaches, teachers, and youth group leaders are just a few examples of people who can also walk alongside teenagers and help them navigate life.
Christian Counseling for Teens in Seattle
A mental health professional at Seattle Christian Counseling in Washington can help identify the sources of struggle for your teen and walk with them to unpack their experiences. There are some things your teen might share with an independent third party because it’s less embarrassing than sharing with you, or because they don’t want to disappoint you. Your teen’s counselor can help them nurture effective coping skills so that they can flourish.
To schedule an appointment for your teenager with me or another mental health professional, contact our office today at Seattle Christian Counseling.
Photo:
“Classroom”, Courtesy of Sam Balye, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Haley Jansen: Author
As a Christian counselor, I am here to support you through whatever challenges you are facing and to help you move forward in your life, with God’s guidance. So often in life, we can feel alone in what we’re going through. We may feel separated from...
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Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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