ADHD Anger: Why is My Child So Angry?

Children with ADHD typically have struggles with anger. This isn’t the typical anger that is noted in normal child behavior as they grow and test boundaries. This anger is defiant, aggressive, and sometimes violent. How do we help children with ADHD?

The most common answer to this question is seeking medication management. The second common treatment suggested is psychotherapy. As a believer, it is wise to seek a Christian professional who uses Scripture and faith-based treatment to help you understand ADHD anger.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. – Philippians 4:6, ESV

What is the connection between ADHD and anger?

Understanding the why behind ADHD and anger begins with understanding ADHD. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopment issue that affects the way a child thinks and behaves.

Anger is not an official symptom of ADHD, but it is often connected because of the feelings of frustration toward unaddressed or unresolved symptoms of ADHD. The common symptoms of ADHD are inattentiveness, impulsivity, and or hyperactivity.

Disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse are also connected with ADHD. These disorders can all introduce or worsen anger becoming the behavior pattern of a child with ADHD. Not being able to regulate emotions makes it challenging for a child with ADHD to cultivate healthy peer relationships, enjoy family life, and have positive academic performance.

Anger is a natural emotional response, but in children with ADHD, the challenges combined with feelings of frustration, anxiousness or helplessness can create a wave of intense anger.

Typical behavior related to ADHD anger

Being able to recognize the typical behavior related to ADHD anger is the first step in helping your child learn to regulate emotions. By identifying the onset of an intense outburst, a parent can help their child learn to respond in a positive manner.

• Poor self-regulation, resulting in the inability to be patient.
• Being persistently irritable.
• Overreacting to minor situations.
• Having difficulty expressing anger verbally.

Helpful strategies

Parents often find that ADHD anger and children can be challenging. Understanding the causes and how to soothe a child through an outburst depends on the child and the situation. It takes patience and proper techniques to help children with ADHD anger work through the moment.

Establish boundaries

Establishing boundaries with your child can help them shift between activities without having meltdowns.

Create a response plan

When the parent reacts to the child’s meltdown, it can escalate the situation resulting in a bigger disruption.

Creating calmness

If a child can sense that the parent is angry, this could induce more anger in the child. Staying calm will often assure the child and lead them to copy the behavior of the parent.

Listen actively

Children often have a hard time expressing their emotions verbally. This can also cause frustration and lead to more anger. When a parent listens actively the child will feel heard even though they are having difficulty using the right words.

Examine for underlying problems

Be sure to connect with your child’s pediatrician to rule out any underlying problems that can also create anger issues.

Develop a reward system

Creating positive reinforcement through a reward system can also help the child identify why they’re angry and how to manage it constructively.

Design and maintain routines

When children with ADHD have a structured environment with routines and schedules, this can reduce the distractions and triggers that cause ADHD anger.

Encourage exercise

Physical exertion helps release tension and extra energy. This can also have a positive effect on impulse behavior and aggression.

Incorporate a healthy diet

A balanced diet is vital to maintaining physical and mental health. When a child is receiving proper nutrients, brain health, and mood regulation can be affected positively. Reducing sugar and processed foods will reduce the likelihood of impulsive anger outbursts.

Next steps.

Learning to understand the connection between ADHD and anger can help create a calm and soothing environment for your child. By helping them learn to work through the intense emotions of anger you will help them learn to identify when they’re feeling angry and what to do about it. contact your local Christian counselor to get more information and schedule a time for them to meet with your child.

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. – Psalm 34:17, ESV