How to Navigate Life After Trauma

Trauma is an emotional wound caused by a major, unexpected event that threatens a person’s life or well-being. When our body feels threatened, it will automatically produce cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that aid a person in facing the threat in front of them. The body’s response can be any of the following in the face of danger and threat.

Flight – This response usually occurs when a person feels that the only way to protect themselves is to run. This can mean physically running from the threat itself or stepping away from a deeply upsetting and hurtful conversation. It is physically removing oneself from danger and looking for a safer place, either to hide or regroup.

Fight – Fighting means a person protects themselves by fighting their way out of danger. This can mean they will struggle, confront, protest, or physically fight whatever danger they are facing.

Flop – This is when a person sees compliance as their only form of protection. They will do whatever they are asked to do, in the hope that they will be spared from danger. They will not struggle or protest, they will present themselves as non-threatening to make it through a dangerous ordeal.

Fawn – Fawn is a little different from flop. This is when someone goes out of their way to please the person who is hurting them to be in their good graces. This can happen in domestic violence situations where the partner in danger will pacify the abusive partner by doing those things they know will please him or her. Children also do this with abusive parents. They will try to “be good” so they are not hurt by them.

Freeze – This is when a situation is so severe that the person will literally freeze and be rendered almost paralyzed. They will not be able to move, fight back, or do anything. Their body effectively shuts down.

The effects of trauma and how to cope

Nightmares

Nightmares are common in people who have experienced trauma. It can be unsettling as they will re-experience the traumatic event over and over again. To try and help with nightmares, the following tips could assist:

• Getting the body in a state of calm before sleeping. This could involve taking a relaxing bath, doing stretches, prayer, or meditation.
• Start keeping a sleeping routine so the body and mind start to shut down properly each day. This could also mean going to sleep at a consistent time.
• Stay away from anything that can keep you awake. This will mean no caffeine and no phones in bed.

Dissociations

People who have gone through trauma sometimes talk about experiencing an out-of-body feeling. They sort of space out and everything around them feels unreal. This is the mind’s way of coping with an overwhelming situation. When this happens, trying to do the following could help:

• Bring yourself back to the present by focusing on the present. What can you see, smell, touch, or hear?
• Splashing cold water on one’s face or holding ice cubes can help bring you back to where you are.
• Do an activity that forces you to stay in the moment, such as cooking.

Numbness

This is when one struggles to feel or express their emotions. In order to heal and get through traumatic experiences, emotions, and feelings need to be felt and dealt with. To try and cope with numbness, the following suggestions can help:

• Permit yourself to feel your emotions.
• Try creative expressions like journaling, poetry, songs, or painting.
• Be in the moment. Try to experience every sensation and emotion when in different situations.

Depression

Depression is when one loses the joy of living. After trauma, many people will feel robbed of the ability to enjoy life again. To deal with depression and its effects, the following tips can be of assistance:

• Self-care. This might be difficult to do at first, but make sure you take care of your most basic needs. This will mean eating right, exercising as much as you can, reaching out to your community, and seeking professional help when needed.
• Take it one day at a time, do what you can, and try again tomorrow, even with a self-care routine. Be patient and compassionate.

Hypervigilance

After a traumatic experience, people often feel that they are not safe anymore. They have a sense of needing to always be on alert and it can be difficult not to feel this way. Hypervigilance is someone’s way of avoiding any further harm, whether real or perceived. To avoid hypervigilance dictating one’s life, the following could help:

• Engage in stress-reducing activities like exercising, hiking, walking, or any physical activity that’s easy for you to do.
• Try to create a sense of safety by telling yourself, out loud at times, that you are safe. This can mean over and over till your body doesn’t feel threatened.
• A sense of safety can also be achieved by having a routine. The predictability of what’s happening means there is no build-up anxiety over what might happen.

Flashbacks

Experiencing flashbacks after a traumatic event can be difficult to deal with. In the moment, it feels like the person relives the experience through their senses. It could be because they are triggered by something they see, sense, or smell. It is a disorienting experience as it can feel as real as the actual traumatic experience itself.

When experiencing flashbacks, one is almost transported back to the scene of a traumatic event. To stay connected to the present, they can try to use their senses to jolt them back. This could mean smelling something with a deep scent, touching something extremely cold, or describing out loud what is in their immediate view.

As flashbacks activate the nervous system, calming techniques can be immensely helpful. This can be breathing slowly and deeply, holding onto something soft that brings comfort, or listening to calming music like rain or nature sounds.

Alcohol and substance abuse

Some people who have experienced trauma will turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with the symptoms of the trauma. This is an unhealthy and damaging way in the long run. If you or your loved one is using alcohol and or drugs after having experienced a traumatic event, it is prudent to get help as soon as possible.

Dealing with trauma and substance abuse at the same time can be difficult to conquer alone. Seeking professional help in this case will be invaluable. Working with both a Trauma Therapist and a substance abuse counselor will aid in tackling both situations at the same time.

Reach out to your community for help and support. This can mean church, family, and friends. They will be there in times of need, and you will not have to walk this journey alone. Their love and support will give you strength when you need it. Joining a support group like AA can also help as you will have the understanding and encouragement of people who have gone through what you are going through.

Self-care will be important. Taking care of oneself while dealing with symptoms of trauma can be hard at first, but making the right and healthy choices to cope gives you a fighting chance. This will mean for a time to stay away from alcohol and find other healthy coping mechanisms.

Self-Blame

One unfortunate consequence of experiencing trauma is self-blame. Self-blame can come in the form of feeling like they could have kept the traumatic event from happening or there is something inherently wrong with them which is why this unfortunate event happened to them. This can be a complex and difficult feeling and belief to deal with. However, it is important to know that it is normal, and the following can help combat those thoughts and feelings:

• Self-compassion – Knowing that self-blame is a normal response to trauma can help people be compassionate and kind to themselves. It will help them challenge the negative thoughts that come. Treating oneself as they would a friend, reminding themselves that if a friend experienced what they did they would not blame them.
• Therapy – Therapy will educate clients about trauma and how it affects them. The Therapist might also use techniques, like CBT, which help challenge the unwarranted self-blaming core beliefs.

Get in touch for help

Trauma is complex. To deal with it, people almost always need the help of a Mental Health professional. We are here to help. If you or anyone you love needs help navigating trauma, please get in touch with our offices. The therapists and counselors at our location are trained to help clients understand and heal from the trauma they have experienced.