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Make Your Garden Grow: Navigating Relationships and Personal Development

Make Your Garden Grow: Navigating Relationships and Personal Development

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-07-29T18:45:14+00:00July 25th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Nature reveals that progress grows under the right conditions. Similarly, the seeds we plant in our personal development or relationships flourish as we invest authenticity and effort. We cultivate meaningful connections when we spend time, listening, and talking with one another. Giving to others and gathering what we need is a bonus of abiding interdependently in a life-giving community, whether comprised of one individual or an entire tribe. A relational transaction isn’t the specific aim, but mutual exchanges do sustain our relationships, blessing us through the Biblical principle of sowing and reaping. We harvest what we plant, and receive what we give (Galatians 6:7). It may not return to us in the same way or from the same place, but God stands by His Word. He ensures that we will reap benefits as we release blessings into others’ lives. The Father created us for community. It happens both deliberately and organically as we offer what the Father has given to us and enjoy what He has placed in others. Hidden Treasure God placed value for each of us in someone else. We weren’t created to remain in isolation, but rather to thrive in a healthy community. Though we may value relationships, they invoke challenges. We don’t have to look far to notice the toxic evidence of people maligning and gaslighting one another. Often, people are absorbed in their own pain and resistant to the idea of embracing solutions to work through challenges. Evidence of soul wounds often reflects the areas where a small relationship issue evolved into a stronghold that can negatively impact how we view others or ourselves. We may be able to recognize traces of unresolved relationship issues in our own lives. They often manifest in how quickly we become offended or angry and remain embroiled in resentment, [...]

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Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-06-03T14:30:03+00:00May 30th, 2024|Anger Issues, Family Counseling, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Psychological Testing, Relationship Issues|

Healthy relationships consist of equal respect and honor. But sometimes, we are not clear on our expectations at the beginning of a relationship, which can cause issues later. Creating healthy boundaries in relationships lets your significant other know what you need and feel comfortable doing. If you started dating your spouse at a very young age before you knew yourself, setting boundaries now can feel awkward. As a result, your spouse may feel as if you are pushing them away. In this case, you may want to recruit the help of a couples counselor. What are Boundaries in Relationships? Boundaries in relationships are necessary to maintain independence and self-reliance. However, when boundaries become blurred, the give-or-take aspect of the relationship is no longer balanced. For example, if you don’t like your spouse to show public displays of affection, but he continues to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, you will eventually withdraw from your spouse or have an argument. However, you could have avoided a fight if you had discussed how you felt about public touching including what he wants and what makes you uncomfortable. Setting clear boundaries at the beginning of a relationship is recommended, but it is never too late to voice your needs and wants. This also means that you should consider your spouse’s needs and wants. For example, if you like to hold hands in public, but your spouse does not can you respect his wishes? A counselor can help you draw boundaries in relationships. You can set healthy boundaries for more than just the physical aspect of your relationship. The emotional, mental, material, and sexual elements are all areas you should be clear on what you will allow and the non-negotiable things that are deal breakers in your eyes. Examples of Boundaries in Relationships [...]

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Why Couples Seek Premarital Counseling

Why Couples Seek Premarital Counseling

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-05-21T14:24:58+00:00April 23rd, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Premarital counseling is one way to intentionally evaluate your compatibility with your future spouse. Even if you and your significant other get along great with few squabbles, premarital counseling provides a safe environment for you to open up about concerns and practice conflict resolution and communication skills. Why seek premarital counseling? Often, couples rush into a relationship, never stopping to ask the important questions, such as: How well do we communicate? How do we deal with conflict? Do we want to have children? If so, how many and when? What are our expectations for sex and emotional intimacy? Where will we live? How will we engage with extended family, and what boundaries will we set? How do our personal goals fit in with our relationship? What are areas in our life where we are rigid, and where are we flexible? How will we manage finances? How do we align in our values and religious beliefs? Premarital counseling opens the door to these discussions and uncovers possible hurdles. It allows you to work out problems before they occur and prepare for future conflicts. Armed with conflict resolution strategies, you can remind each other about finding a solution and defusing a potential argument before it gets out of hand. Choosing Christian premarital counseling will combine faith-based principles with the researched-backed methods of Psychology. Marriage expectations How you were raised may influence what you expect in your own marriage. For example, do you expect your spouse to do most of the housework because you work full-time? Do you expect to have sex most nights of the week? When arguing, will you resort to what your mother may have done and storm out of the house or slam the doors? Perhaps you have an ideal of marriage regarding your spouse. Maybe you expect [...]

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Using Christian Meditation to Reduce Stress

Using Christian Meditation to Reduce Stress

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-07-24T11:43:27+00:00March 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Life is full of stressors. From work pressures to family challenges, personal anxieties, and life changes, the list of things that cause stress can feel endless. While we often hear suggestions for managing these stressors, it can be hard to put them into place. Often, these things feel like one more thing to add to an overwhelming list. Instead of focusing on a big list of things to change, you can start with one thing. Simply start small. You don’t need to make sweeping changes all at once. Those often don’t work because they are too difficult to maintain. Instead, you can choose one thing and implement it slowly. The results may not be immediate, but they are more likely to last. Meditation is a great skill to begin introducing into your life to manage and reduce the effects of stress. Meditation is a way to “be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10). What is meditation? There are a lot of misconceptions about meditation. Upon hearing the word meditation, people have preconceived notions about what it is without having any personal experience or education about it. The simplest concept of meditation is a settling of the mind. While meditation can involve deeper ideas like awareness, mindfulness, training, perspective, and clarity, all these ideas go back to the root concept of intentionally settling one’s mind. Does meditation align with Christian beliefs? Meditation is used in many cultures and religions. This has sometimes caused people to be concerned about Christians using meditation. When people consider how a different culture or faith tradition uses meditation, it may not align with Christian beliefs. However, when we take the definition of meditation described above and use it in a context that applies to being a Christ-follower, we discover that it supports [...]

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Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Help for When You are Overwhelmed by Feeling Insecure

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-05-21T14:25:09+00:00March 8th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Everyone feels insecure now and again. It could happen before a big event or a presentation at work, starting a new job, or entering a room full of strangers. We can feel insecure after we make a mistake. We might not feel assured in raising our children, interacting with our partners, or in our vocation. For some of us, feeling insecure is how we feel most of the time. Insecure feelings may permeate much of our daily activities and relationships. At times, we might even feel like we never fit into any situation or like we have “imposter” stamped on our foreheads. We see how everyone else does things better, faster, and smarter. We never believe that what we do, or who we are, is enough. We spend our days rebuking our decisions, questioning if we have done enough, and feeling like the least qualified person in every room. We might feel afraid to put ourselves out there in relationships because the amount of insecurity we experience inhibits us from taking risks or being vulnerable. Feeling insecure and anxious Insecurity is something we can feel in big or small ways. It can be related to how we see ourselves, how we experience our relationships, and how we show up in the working or productive parts of our lives. It can force us to pull back from relationships, say no to opportunities we would love to accept, and live in regret. Feeling insecure makes us retreat further into ourselves, where we often don’t like what we find there either. Constantly feeling insecure can lead to anxiety. We scan the horizon, cultivate the worst case in our heads, and wait for the other shoe to drop. When we feel insecure about who we are and our choices, we often feel anxious [...]

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The Impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect On Adult Relationships

The Impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect On Adult Relationships

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-07-24T11:39:47+00:00February 27th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you’re a child, you’re at your most vulnerable. You depend on the people around you to meet your needs, including your need for food, shelter, attention, and nurture. Children cannot provide for these themselves. Having caregivers who are attentive to your needs and capable of meeting them is essential. Whether or not we flourish in life greatly depends on how much and how well our needs were met or whether we've suffered emotional neglect. Unfortunately, one of the harsh realities of living in a broken world is that one’s needs aren’t always met for various reasons. Many parents are well-intentioned but without the means or the knowledge for how to best meet children’s needs, they can go unmet. Even more harmful is when one sees a need and deliberately decides not to meet it. In either case, whether intentionally or not, childhood emotional neglect is a reality many children face. What is childhood emotional neglect? Childhood emotional neglect is when a parent or caregiver doesn’t respond adequately to a child’s emotional needs. Emotional neglect can be intentional, but it may also be the result of a parent overlooking this one area of a child’s needs. For instance, a parent or caregiver may fulfill a child’s need for food, shelter, education, and medical treatment, but fail to pay attention to the child’s expressed concerns. Mishandling this one area of a child’s needs is neglectful, even though it may be entirely unintentional. It may be helpful to provide an example of childhood emotional neglect. A child may express the fact that they are sad or anxious about going to school, and the parent responds by brushing them off or ignoring the concerns the child expressed. A parent may be thinking that the child isn’t serious, or the situation isn’t serious [...]

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Postpartum Depression: What It Is and How to Treat It

Postpartum Depression: What It Is and How to Treat It

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-05-21T14:25:21+00:00February 22nd, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a disorder that women develop after giving birth. The symptoms can include feeling sad, anxious, and exhausted, making it difficult for the mother to take care of herself and her child. PPD can emerge right after birth but commonly emerges one to three weeks after delivery. Often, women who experience PPD have never experienced another form of depression. A lack of understanding and experience with PPD can be a barrier to seeking help. Because of this, many new moms feel that these symptoms are their fault, or they are weak or inadequate moms. This is not true. While various factors influence the prevalence of post-partum depression, on average, 10-15% of women develop PPD. It is important for the mother, child, and the existing family that PPD be diagnosed and addressed. Caring for a newborn is difficult enough, and the symptoms of PPD cause the mother to struggle mentally and emotionally. This makes it difficult for her to care for herself and her child(ren). When a mother struggles this way, it affects the bonding process between mother and infant. Less-than-ideal bonding can then affect the overall development of the infant. Women often struggle with feelings of guilt and shame when struggling with post-partum depression due to an inability to be the mom they want to be. All of this can also impact the family unit. Women who suspect they might have post-partum depression should seek medical attention. Many women need medication to help them with the symptoms of PPD. Antidepressants can help alleviate the symptoms of depression. For people in faith communities, taking medication for depression can be “controversial.” It is essential to realize that treating mental health issues with medication is not much different than treating physical ailments with medication. It might be necessary to [...]

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Social Anxiety: Signs and Treatment Options

Social Anxiety: Signs and Treatment Options

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-05-21T14:25:31+00:00December 7th, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Social anxiety can make life challenging. Everyday activities become a struggle. You may not be able to shop inside stores anymore, attend social events, or even spend time with friends. Social interactions are no longer straightforward when your heart and mind race and you worry about how to interact with others or what they think about you. Holiday shopping becomes relegated to online only because you no longer want to deal with the anxiety and the panic. The symptoms of social anxiety will keep you isolated from friends and family, causing you to miss out on being with others in ways that nourish our souls. If you believe you have social anxiety, you may need professional help so you can get back to living your life. Social Anxiety Disorder. Social anxiety can develop at any age, but the roots of the condition often stem from childhood. If you grew up in an environment of being bullied, your parents were overprotective, or you experienced public humiliation, your chances of suffering from social anxiety are higher. Genetics and family history also play a role. There are various degrees of social anxiety, from mild to severe. On one end, you may have the nagging thought that you should escape a conversation before embarrassing yourself. Conversely, you may fear attending an online video meeting because you worry that the other participants may judge you. Worrying about offending someone with a smell, speech, or appearance will keep you from enjoying events with your family. Your spouse may have little patience for your mental condition when they want to go out and have fun, and you are afraid to sit in a crowded movie theater. There may be no basis for these beliefs, but they are cemented into your psyche, and dislodging them may take [...]

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What Depression Feels Like and How to Cope

What Depression Feels Like and How to Cope

Greenlake Christian Counseling2024-07-24T11:41:53+00:00October 30th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Depression comes in many forms. It can be caused by brain circuitry, an imbalance of brain chemicals, trauma, uncontrollable life events, genetics, or family history. What depression feels like is a persistent sadness that envelops you and alters your thoughts and emotions. It leaves you fatigued and often isolated. Depression is diagnosed by professionals using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), 5th Edition from the American Psychiatric Association. A licensed mental health care provider reviews assessments, symptoms, length, and quantity of depressive episodes to make a diagnosis and suggest treatment. Below is a list of several common depression disorders. If you suspect you or a loved one suffers from depression, reach out for help today. Severe depression can lead to thoughts of suicide. Atypical depression. Atypical depression begins at a younger age than other depressive disorders. You are at a higher risk of developing atypical depression if your family history includes people with depression or bipolar disorder. People who abuse alcohol or drugs may also develop this type of depression. Atypical depression is marked by depressive states that lift with a positive event or good news. However, this lift is only temporary. It may seem as if your thoughts and emotions default to depression, and the only relief you have is when something good noticeably happens. Since this depression tries to override other emotions, you must be aware of your thoughts and behaviors. Suicidal thoughts can intrude. Fatigue and a heaviness in your arms and legs can weigh you down and make you sleepy. Your sleep patterns can change, making you sleep more. As hormones shift, your appetite may increase, leading to weight gain, which can lower your self-esteem and make you self-conscious in front of others. People struggling with atypical depression cannot handle criticism effectively [...]

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